IT STARTS WITH A S.

HIATUS

2008-09-13T23:26:00.003+08:00

&& i had been with twoneuroses for near to 6 months. Long enough.
My attention span towards stuffs like blogging is short, always been?

and yeah, i'm doing good.
Considerably so.

I'm going on a hiatus.
hopefully will be back soon or maybe not, or find me at my new space? (:

Love always,
S.

2008-09-10T17:15:00.008+08:00

The week was very laid back. Last Saturday was timbre with the usuals, minimal alcohol intake man but all's still good.

oh candid, she's giving me the " oei, wtf la " expression. HAHAHA

I'm very thankful for last Saturday. Especially the people like Y, J and P is for Pamela. They had been there for the longest time for me. XXXXXX ok ok! :)
On a happier note, skinny Y is coming back tomorrow, spells happiness.

Monday, as usual, i went for training and returned with a sprained back that almost killed me. On Tuesday morning, i found myself couldn't get up from the bed and it was the boyfriend's passing out parade in the noon. Terrified plus nervousness, i quickly get down to the chinese doctor and had it treated. It was the first treatment i ever had on my back and i swore it was so painful that it made me literally teared on the spot. I will never want to go through all these anymore :(
I can't even sit on a toiletbowl, or either standing up normally, now you can imagine how painful it was like?

Happy POP!

Today, was just resting in or probably STUCKED at home. oh yeah oh sigh. Reading a good book and i learned something from it. Nothing else i could ask for. Oh btw, happy birthday fatmund!

look at how he loves to pose and his imbal video taken during the show.

hi ~~cool~~ shit.

Inside of You - Infant Sorrow

my favourite playlist of the week.

Till then...

2008-09-08T12:25:00.002+08:00

this video never fail to make me laugh. (:

2008-09-07T21:00:00.002+08:00

can you resist the gorgeous'ness?

Gets you thinking

2008-09-06T01:11:00.004+08:00

What you've never had, you never miss.

You never miss water until the well runs dry.

XXXXXXX

2008-09-01T22:34:00.002+08:00

Here's a quick one.

I'm done with Comex.
Great returns this time, i'm not just talking about the attractive incentives from boss, but also making a lot of new friends. && most of them are from TP, the tall-people school!
Sales were pretty good, and i learnt a completely new dialect, Cantonese. The only part i hate for the week was only to be able to see the boyfriend for just merely 3 hours? Ok, that sucks. But i should be grateful for the 3 hours, at least it was better than nothing.

Next week, i'm going down to funan to get my new toy. Wait till i show it to you people (:

Today was simply just sleeping in as to compensate the sleep loss for the last 4 days and jolted out of bed to go for training. Sad to say, i played badly today.

E had been asking me to go F1 with him, and he's very willing to pay. Then again, i thought i should better keep a distant between people who don't matter and people who do to me. I mean being selective sometimes is good. idk?

I can't wait for the 9th.

Distress, distress. To somewhere where the pace of life is slow and peaceful. A world packed with french fries and ice cream.

2008-08-27T21:49:00.002+08:00

COOL ADV.
go view!

2008-08-27T16:15:00.010+08:00

I just got home. I spent half of my day today at SSDC. I passed my theory, booked my final theory, booked my practical. && i reckon lady luck is on me because i got an earlier slot. HEH! Then, I went to the bank to run some errands, my debit card, open new savings account etc. (:

Now i just can't seem to get my sorry ass out of the house and go down to Jurong. After tomorrow, i won't be free for the rest of the week. Well, looks like the boyfriend's going to survive without his stone player in bunk next week. Serve him wrong for washing it in the machine! ugh.

Yesterday saw me and the girls went to roam around town, i went to return my novel before we rushed down to Cheenatown to meet the skinny Y. We walked to Clarke quay after that and sat down for drinks. We had fun, short walks, laughter and had our heart fixed. However last night was intolerable, (much to the drinks), i couldn't get to sleep and had a pounding headache, even popping a panadol in bid of killing the pain so as to drift myself to sleep but was quite in vain. This will probably be the last usual outing before skinny Y comes back from taiwan. (:
have a safe journey ok! come back with loads of fat fat!

I was supposed to tennis in the noon, but the rain didn't permit me to do so.

Now, i'm waiting for the sister to come home and go watch a movie with me. She promised to reach home by 4:30pm, but look at the time now. Hmm..

Okay i'm going to bath and take a nap now to compensate for the sleep loss last night.

&& of course my study-superheroes during the study week (:
credit to qiaoqiao.

2008-08-23T23:07:00.006+08:00

I think my life is so mundane until nobody gives a fly anymore. Friday marks the last day of school which means 1 month of hibernation starts.
It's going to be hell of a holiday and I'll be seeing the important person/people in my life less often, but absence makes the heart grows fonder. Holidays used to be exciting for me because those were the days where i had time with the usuals, go shopping but nothing like those really matters to me now. Right now, holidays are attractive to me because I get to sleep in late.

Exams were pretty frustrating albeit everyone should be getting into their high holidaying spirits but I think the frustration and the short fuse was caused by the unprepared feelings for the papers but thank god for the fact that I had superheroes who came in the form of WeiXiang and a group of study mates to help me.

Today, meeeeenie and me hit the town and we chatted so much that my voice is almost breaking now, saw me downing with loads of woods coughing syrup now. I feel so weird about my voice, that i felt funny listening to myself talk. Then was movie 4bia with boyfriend, it's such a mad show, but worth all the money if you want to live a day lesser :)

&& so i'm going to get my ass back to court for tennis, going to swim laps in the public pool with the nice nice girlfriends, catch-up with a lot of people that i missed for long time, attend boyfriend's POP, my driving lessons, jobs, $$ $$, loads of shopping and coffee talks.

that will basically be my 5 weeks holiday, and i'm going to enjoy it to fullest because it will be the very LAST holiday before tep.

&& at the same time, i won't be updating here much often because i've found a more private place (:
still here, with more visuals i promise.

till then...
Lets have a ROLLING holiday!

2008-08-23T13:03:00.002+08:00

What you've never had, you never miss.
You never miss water until the well runs dry.

2008-08-21T22:14:00.001+08:00

I doubt that anything can make me feel any better, not even if the stars dances for me.

Where's all the love yo?

all i really need is some good sleep, and a comforting hug from you.

MAY HAPPIER DAYS AHEAD.

ONE LAST TO GO.
financeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :(
i hate anything that has got to do with numbers, ok excluding counting money.

2008-08-20T22:10:00.002+08:00

i thank god for my awesome and helpful classmates. (:

2008-08-20T07:06:00.003+08:00

WX says F CRM (CockRoach Management)

HAHA.
ok, it's 7:07am now. I should really go get bath and wait for daddddddddddd to send me to school.
yeah man, screwww crm! i would have prefer to study laww. :(

whatever it is, good luck to me. I hope i will not forget all those theories
(CDI, C. retention, R.M, Acquisition, advantage/benefit/challenges/solutions.)
omgzx.

2008-08-19T17:44:00.006+08:00

Pre-exam period is taxing and unbearable, as usual. But this time round, extremely bad because i've never experienced such trauma before, like erm, not readily prepare for the papers ahead and i'm still caught with tomorrow's paper. If i flunk these, i guess i'm one step away from me to continue to move vertically in the academic prospect, but okay, i'm not going to permit that from happening. shitzxzx.

am feeling so foul now, because i really want to get some sleep. My eyes are so painful, and i couldn't get any single details of theories into my head for tomorrow's paper after sitting at the chair with my book for the past 3 hours! HOW?!?!
(F LA OKAY) why so hard!
Mugging for exam is the worst thing to do in life, really loathe that but damn.. i'm helpless still.

just praying that i'll clear those hurdles now and am promising myself to work extremely hard for the next 1440 days.

okay i can go on rambling about exams and studies but this is good enough for a 10mins break for me.

back to books.
f f f f f f f f!!!!!

p/s: the smelly dummy is coming home tonight for a day, but why haven't you call?!?!

2008-08-16T22:00:00.006+08:00

you would have called by this time tonight.

my hair has got the sweetest smell, HEHEHE!
& only yenny knows why. (;
can't wait to show it off to her! nyehaha.

& paaaa-me-la gave me the biggest comfort today.
xoxo. ((:
3 cheers to you, and study hard ok!

i'm proud of myself for saving up hard for the past weeks.

any takers for coming comex show?
i've got deals this time, ask me! :)

2008-08-16T10:31:00.002+08:00

It's beeeeeen longggggg.

but still i can't seem to find the right word to faithfully convey how I feel. Anyways, life's been such a bitch. STUDY STUDY the shitouttame everyday, no sports for two weeks, fully concentrating on those effking hard modules. :(
& today marks the first day of boyfriend going into the jungle, which means no communication at all for 6 days.

I wish I own a remote that could fast forward time. I'll make everyday a friday. Its the happiest day of the week and like you might have already know, it's my favourite day always.

OH. yes.
Michael Phelps is the man! period.

Study + Olympic = Studlympic.

2008-08-15T00:10:00.003+08:00

~~ONE~~ DOWN,

FOUR MORE TO GO.

bummmmmer...

2008-08-12T22:32:00.004+08:00

My weekends had been nothing of spectacular but just very good with the people I spent with.
Like other couples, we went to catch the fireworks on the National Day. & both of us, the movie fanatics, we went to catch Mummy in the noon, and the long awaited Dark Knight in the late night.

Sunday morning, dad sent me down to SSDC before i head over to meet boyfriend and Zy for lunch at the amk temporary market. Tagged along with them to buy their stuffs for their confinement week!
So the boyfriend went back to camp in the late evening on Sunday. & this time round, he will be confined for 2 weeks, and no communication for 6 days when he's out for field camp. I will definitely miss him, but well at the same time, the best time for me to focus on my studies. (:
Let's think positively!

I was supposed to go back school and meet the rest for studying. However, i'm really lazy to get my asss out of the damn gate, and whats more? Mum had been out running errands, & only me in the house. So all the more i should make use of the peacefulness. But, rainy days are the best for me to hide in the sheets. I can't resist the temptation, period.

Olympics games are my entertainment source these days, especially swimming.

They say it's better to live your life than being obsessed to document it down. And I'm counting down to 23rd Aug, because it's holidays then. I hope time really reaaaally wheeze horribly fast.

okay, i will spend my night pumping knowledge, more olympics and oh cornflakes with cold milk yo!

Let's do gasolina!

2008-08-09T11:27:00.001+08:00

Tongue Tied - Faber Drive

2008-08-07T18:48:00.003+08:00

if you think you're pretty, i'd think i'm beautiful.

Wednesday saw me going to the doctor early in the morning for the cough that had went on for the past one week. Today i skipped finance class and slpt in. Not only it was a well-deserved break, it was also a good chance to catch up with mum.

I am almost done with the first semester of my second year, well almost there when i wrap up my exams paper starting on next Wednesday. Just nice, boyfriend will be out for field camp for 2 long weeks, by the time he's back, my exams will be over and i can fully enjoy to the max.

Can't wait for the weekends.
because you know why. (:

I'm determined to ...........

this is sucha trashy entry.
bye!

2008-08-04T22:25:00.006+08:00

I left my diary at the boyfriend's house.
So i'm going to borrow blogger for awhile to pen down my thoughts for tonight.

Dear diary,
weather: hot like F la.
mood: (@!#$%^&% i hate french)

I couldn't picture myself in her shoes after reading the girlfriend's blog whose boyfriend passed away during the brunei training.

With the worries empowered with an o-verly active imagination, i can almost imagine myself in her shoes. I won't say i understand how she feels, no i can't. No one can understand untill they experience a lost of their loved ones. The idea of losing mine scares me. Enough.

To add on, with the stories of all the injuries thats going on around you frightens me. I'm frightened so much till the point where I think I may lose my grip on reality if I continue to harp on it. (damn!)
this goes to the boyfriend, to zy as well as my brother and all the army guys outta there, please be ALERT during training ok ok!

XXXXXXX
S,
10:32PM

the first day when he was out, he refused to take photos.

nye-ha. still, we got him!

C: EH girlfriend, quick leh take photo, i wanna see how i like.

" WL, SO UGLY!?! "

" CUTE SIO-L. "

2008-08-01T23:43:00.002+08:00

i just killed a lorry of trees from the tissue marathon for my leaking nose.

weekends, like finally!
this week is especially slow.

tomorrow's saturday, plan is to go have a quick swim/tann tomorrow, then to joey's 18th, before meeting the boyfriend and others for movies.

i wish to be snuggling up to the warmth of your hugs now.

2008-07-31T22:30:00.003+08:00

As you can see from the previous post, it's enough said how much school suckzxzxzxzxzx for the past week. I'll swamped with nothing but sore muscles from the resumed training and fatigue from school projects. Woes of a business student, I cannot wait to breathe stress-free air.

This week had been mentally challenged for me, firstly, just on the day of submission of french assignment, my elocker was faulty and i couldn't retrieve my stuffs, luckily i got to hand it up in time. & then, it was when we were doing last minute work in the lab, all computers shut down due to maintenance and all our unsaved data were gone. okay, this suck i know. Guess I gotta take things in my stride.

I just lost my voice, and now i got to worry how am i going to present the project tomorrow!

i miss them quite alot.

Take care, children and keep safe!

2008-07-29T23:11:00.001+08:00

SCHOOOOOOOL SUCKZXZXZXZXZXZXZXZXXXXX!

god knows i want to break freeeeeeee.
:(

2008-07-27T11:33:00.003+08:00

Haven't been doing much lately, yesterday the boyfriend booked out, so i tagged along with the family and went to pick him up. Saw us having lunch at xinwang after that, and loads of army stories to hear from him.

but i was pleased to see him after 2 long weeks, he's going to have a short break soon which means longer weekends, which also equals to spending more time with him.
& i think boyfriend lost some weight, and definitely becomes more defined in terms of his muscles and all! :) better not mess around with him, because he's even more rugged and powerful now. and probably after the entire bmt, he can pin me down with his little finger. (ugh!)

we wanted to catch dark knight but everywhere was full, so we left for nick's chalet earlier.

oh well, that was about all.
our initial plan of catching dark knight in the noon is being cancel again! boyfriend decided to drop the idea and relax around.
so i'm off to meet him to buy his snacks before sending him back to the HELL-HOLE island! booo.

photos are with nick, i promise to show you the botak boy soon! :)
he's adorable times 134757483820.

2008-07-24T19:51:00.003+08:00

I certainly miss those days back in school. From overseas field trip to school outings, from how we ran hard for cross country to how we put in efforts during sports day just to bring glory to own houses, from prelims to o-levels, from textbook to ten-yr series, from biology practicals to chemistry practicals, (i hate physics so forget it!) dressing up for racial harmony as a whole, putting all our might on greens events just to win back the certificate on the wall, and how we graduated as a class. & now everybody's on their own.

Change is inevitable especially when you go to Secondary School & tries to be cool, you wanna be stylo milo.

To think of it, it tickles my balls. I've been through it & been there so you can imagine what a loser I was last time but one day, I'll visit those schools I've studied when I'm a successful person in life. I've been through years of education which unfortunately haven't done me any justice. Just look at me now! And it'll be interesting to meet up with friends 10 years down the road, to see how they've actually metamorphosed. For me, I'll probably be a nun in the China mountains to atone for nefarious deeds I've committed all my life. how does that sounds?

how have you people been?

M for Mundane

2008-07-23T17:05:00.006+08:00

cool stuff, i want to go there one day!

So much for convincing myself, it was a tough time dealing with school now especially when it's like a load of 10000kg is thrown for you to dash up the fucking hill, & instead of being fit & steady, you complain that you're lacking of stamina, lacking behind people. I swear, each time when school ends, I can't help but be so happy to pack my bag the fastest and wanting to punch the air.

Now, it's the period of mad dashing. & it's this period of time, you can see the true colours of your friends. I'm not referring to my matties who produced good work and fought with me but okay, call me a random.

25july- EFMA ICA III / ICT lab test.

28july- Finance ICA III

29july- French submission

31july- CRM report submission/presentation

5aug- French role play. (@$!%^&*(!)

8aug- ICT final proj/presentation

now you understand?

No time for drags, it's just time to buck up & get a shove up my asssss. & it's going to be just the books and me.

Days are typical, night spent are mundane. I've been infected with a disease called, Laziness. It's always home i want to head after school, i've lost interest in everything, practically everything. I've stopped going for tennis for a week, breaking promises to meet up with some friends, shopping, even going for movies, i rejected. Whats wrong with me? Sometimes i just want to hide in my sheets and sleep all i can.

I spent my night reading Songs Of the Humpback Whale. It's disturbing not to finish the novel when I'm already half through it. I can't help but feel a sense of satisfaction after I'm done with the book. It's all about an expert using humpback whales across the ocean to track for his wife, hoping to see the world and his love ones.

In any case, I suspect I do suffer from a deprivary of childhood. How I actually get excited watching cartoons in the morning on Kids Central today because it dawned on me how much time I spent on the bed in the morning than working on my childhood deprivary. I was on the high cereal notion&watching cartoons. Like since young, I've always wanted to marry Peter Pan and how TinkerBell could be my bridesmaid(perhaps she's too small to lift my dress?)

REST ASSURE FOLKS, I'M ALL RIGHT. I just need to shut my curtains&do a little snoozing to get my sense back before I give any good god-damn about anything.

I'm going for a run later. (:

2008-07-20T22:23:00.006+08:00

Ronald says,

better days are sunsets away.

Today's dinner at Swensen was bad.

The gross and nauseating cheese stix makes me wanna puke all my dinner out.

& their so called next-big-thing smoked duck pizza was pure godawful, not pure indulgence. ugh!

2008-07-19T22:56:00.002+08:00

You know, i still love sales even though the previous mango sale gives me complete headache, I dare not even eye on any piece of clothings in there not because they're all past seasons but because the shoppers in there looked like they're about to hurl each other with whatever objects if the piece of cloth they're eyeing on get snatched. You know in sales sometimes, the bitch in yourself scares you so no matter how mature you are, you'll smack the person if she snatches your favourite piece of top. It's like seeing myself slapping a girl because she snatches my boyfriend. That's how serious sales can get.

Having the thought of upcoming presentation, and deciding not to be sloppy in formal attire anymore, i got my formal pants from Zara yesterday and another pair of black heels just now.
I have added more stuffs to the shopping list, i'm serious in going back Warehouse to get the pants okay!

Yesterday wasn't my day. I'm down with some tough luck with the cabs.
I thought my time shows 9am already, so the peak period is over isn't it! guess what, the cab shows 8:59am, and because it's only by just one minute, i have to pay those additional charges! @#$!%%^&*
and then in the night, because it was pretty late already, so i decided to hail a cab. & this f lady in her mid-thirties went to my front and took my cab. I got so disgusted, madness times 23456839.

You know sometimes i don't like not getting what I want. It angers me, if the things I want are being snatched away and I can't lay my hands on. But why does others get it while I don't? I don't see why I can't fight for the things I want, even if it means losing my dignity. I don't see why things can't go the way I want when I mean no harm and want everything for the best. Not getting the things you want is like being deprived of it.

I shout, SIX MORE DAYS yo! :)

2008-07-18T23:15:00.002+08:00

Just when i've decided to chill out with S for the rest of the night, the phone call literally made me changed my mind.
& here i am, back home, praying, hoping your texts come in and then heading to bed soon.
Why is time passing so slowly and at a snail's pace now?

(AIYO)
tell me how not to worry for the rest of the night! tsk.

2008-07-17T19:01:00.012+08:00

I'm really busy this week, and to your contray belief, i'm still very much ALIVE. (:

It is a Thursday night in July, and I'm lying in bed in my extra huge tennis shirt typing a whole chunk of junk away in my notebook. What I am doing is totally dated, hoping it will awake me. I'm constantly haunting myself with reminders that I need to do this and that, attend this and that. My mind is packed with all the neon coloured post-it stickers. Furthur more, exams are just in a month time! rawr.

Weekends are just sleeping in late, and without the boyfriend's accompany.
But still, there's the younger sister who kept me energetic and alive, who went shopping and eating with me. (:
What else more? & did i tell you something, i love my new buys lately!

On monday, school was insanely exhausting and busy yet with a little fun induced in it. We, the awesome trio skipped lectures to prepare our role play for law. It was all last minute work because the three of us were really screwy and we slack whenever we have time! However, we managed to complete all the editing within 3 hours which was incredibly unexpected. Cheers to them! More to come, let's work hard ogays!

Let's see, other days were simply projects after projects. No more procrastination, because if i don't get my work done by next week, i will probably get royally screw.

Yesterday saw me and Yenny went to L's place for our hair cut, and we did something SILLY on impulse. Oh well, let's not talk about it or else the witch will corrupt me with her IMBAL language, or i should put in this way, an ostrich ran me down while I was crossing the street. nye haha! you might not get me huh. Whatever it is, my hair fucking stinks now. *insert sighs.

Saw our craziness today in school. We went to disturb this fella who indirectly harassed J few weeks ago. We bumped into him when we were on our way out to school. So as usual, we walked past him and didn't give a shit about him. but not today, with the right timing, he went into a handicapped toilet. I merely suggested to give him a lesson by switching off his lights when he was in the toilet, i swear it was just a suggestion, but guess what Yenny did. She reversed and went to off his lights before we ran down the corridor like mad. We acted real cool after that. Jeees. We should have waited for awhile before switching off the lights, he would probably screamed like a puss in the toilet and wet his pants? HA HA!

Today, was for us to distress. School ended early, so we went to tann, swim and do sauna. I swear at the point when i was doing sauna, i was falling into sleep. Life has been awesome, really. With the usuals and family around you, enough said! :) not forgetting pearl with milk tea that provides satisfaction!

but for now, n73 is giving me problems times 44462149506261749!

I've got a lot of things on my mind.

To do list.
1) Due to increase of pocket money, i've decided to save 3/4 of allowance and open a new bank account on my own. 2) Register for BTT. 3) Go ikea buy buy buy! 4) Contact coach E. 5) Sign up for aerobic class. 6) Get formal skirt for next presentation. 7) Hit the gym with T & L after school twice/thrice per week.

I want to go kayak, any takers with me!?

p/s: i miss the boyfriend like !@#&*^!

i've updated my ipod, gees! check it out okay,

i love Secondhand Serenade yo!

& she's my idol.

LET'S RUN THE SHOW :D

2008-07-11T20:38:00.002+08:00

it's not what you leave behind

it's what you'll gain in the days ahead.

Can i say clearly that, unless these silly realise that their waking up at 5am and having meals at a canteen isn't going to happen during war(during war they fight all day and all night long, go days without food, hide all over the place and don't have bunks to live in) they are just purely wasting time!

Is it so difficult for them to accept that one nuclear bomb is going to wipe out the entire nation when the war really comes! but oh wells. i'm feeling damn gay now with all the weird feelings inside me. I thought i will be so oblivious to the fact he's not around, but now. I'm not as strong as what all of you made me out to be. I'm very flimsy. It's sad but true, we're not as independent as we thought we are. We all need someone to be there for us, because we're human afterall and loneliess is never nice. I miss him, his smell. (how siol! it's only the first day. wth! )

2008-07-10T23:44:00.004+08:00

No more knuckling of fists, folding stars, snatching the remote control, hardcore pillow fights, wrestling and see who knocks out first, no more jerking when you sleep, movies, stayovers, the xoxo diary, laughing at each other, taking evening strolls and so much more.

Noon was at deport room for some errands, then we caught Hellboy at vivo before dinner at no signboard with the aunties and family as some farewell dinner. It was more than awesome with all the stories told, somehow i feel excited for the boyfriend too!

Life's gonna have a slight change from tomorrow onwards, and i'm on my own for the next two weeks.
It's about time. but i know my friends will be the pillar of support for this period of time. (:

Yen Fenn ❤ says: I LEND U MY SHOULDER

it's gonna be tough but well, let's hang on!
good luck to the boyfriend.

till then..

2008-07-10T00:00:00.001+08:00

It feels like just yesterday when the boyfriend receives the enlistment letter, and time flies so fucking fast, in just roughly 24 hours time, we'll be sending him off. ):
Tuesday night saw us gathering at Cartel for sending Zy off to tekong. That fella went to shave his hair off before we could even take a nice and proper photo with him! well, i hope he's doing good and hopefully things will go all smooth for him. (:
Other days were basically spending as much time with the boyfriend as possible, and rushing the deadlines for projects. & oh ya, my laptop finally came. *winks.

Today, saw the boyfriend and me went on a date. Nice dinner and of course the 30mins boat ride from esplanade to the clarke quay. With him around, he will give you the highest level of comfort as well as the highest level of annoyance. & he's a pussy enough for not sitting the g-max with me. (is that what you people called? the g-max?)

It's kind of weird to be saying this, but all of us sure do have an emotional attachment to someone/something. I hate to say this but yes, I have an emotional attachment to a whole load of things especially humans. I always thought myself to be very independent and can survive without anyone or anything but I know that if someone of great importance were to leave me now, I would have a hard time adapting to a life where I'll be left alone to fend for myself.

Speaking of comfort level between my boyfriend and I, trust has to be one of it. Nobody promised relationships are always a bed of roses. I bet he can never read me like a book and it's hard to fathom a human's heart sometimes. If you ask me what I would like to do with my boyfriend, I'd like to dissect his heart and see if his love is pumping that strongly, and steadily for me. I might like to dissect his brains to read what he's thinking to understand him better.

It's so hard for me to continue staying mad at him sometimes because his chest would be the only place I want to run to, lay my head there and seek a hug from him. (that explains why we don't fight.)

I don't understand why I love to play things cool and pretend I don't care when every pores on my body are giving a damn so much that he's leaving for NS soon. Sometimes, I just want to make myself look and sound good. =/

As cliche as it might sound, nothing makes me want him more than anything else.

xoxo

2008-07-04T23:57:00.004+08:00

I felt sorry for myself. For not having enough beauty sleep just to study for a module which i don't like at all, and apparently, the computing module doesn't seem to help us in any ways, be it now or in the future, maybe yes in the future, i couldn't forsee. but for now, __ ICT.

French is over, i can now have my peace of mind for the moment.
I could barely wait for the arrival of the weekends. I've been consumed completely by stress and fatigue. I have insufficient sleep everyday and everything seemed to be stuffed under my belt for me to accomplish. My wails are probably redundant, not like anyone's gonna care. Besides, nobody can understand my screaming desperation to elude from this shithole of stress and my licks for WEEKENDS.

My nose is like a leaking pipe now, my throat is as sore as the ba-lu-ku on my back, my fever just seeped some brain cells from me, and the most annoying thing is i failed to load mozilla on my old laptop which means i can only talk to people on msn. I'm not used to dad's one. &i got no fucking idea how long the laptop is going to reach me.

I skipped class on thursday and went to tennis. I freaking spent a horrendous amount of money on cab, i should slap myself and really start eating on carrot sticks. Maybe then i will feel better. Other days were spent with the boyfriend, and the usuals, movies, good food and of course keeping myself busy with a lot of gossips. (:
The other day, i replaced boyfriend's Swatch with this o-biang kookooo black army watch, i think it's cute on him and i want t get one for myself too! i think he's all ready to go. o-botak yo!

the soon-to-be army boyfriend.

Today, we were all so knackered after studying for the test. So we skipped lecture and slacked our ass out at the stadium for three hours. I had my nap, while the other two were oggling at some guys on the track.

i've got more visuals at joey's! :)

Sk blocked me on msn because he said my picture's too hot for him to resist! Y said i looked slutttttty down there. The boyfriend said, i looked cute down there. Joey says: "oh the slouchy girl!"

I say, i look fat down there. ):

I've got a bbq tomorrow, and i will be back with more visuals.

goodnight!

2008-06-29T20:43:00.011+08:00

I intended to sleep till the next morning without even bothering dinner or giving a fucking fly about things around me but apparently, sleep fails me. Some issues are enough to snatch sleep away from me. And I'm sitting right in front of the computer, feeling like I'm floating in mid-air and floating through realism and non-realism.

My thoughts are all fuzzy and all I see in my mind are random words floating around, awaiting a sorting machine to arrange them in the way I want them to be. As a result of all the fuzziness, I'm having a hell of a time even trying to start on the second section of my french.

I realise that things have a way of working in the world. What goes around, comes around and kicks you in the ass and sends you hurling to the other side of the room. Then, you mutter and curse and wish that you should never have done all those things. Either that or you just bash yourself for being so stupid. Right?

How was your weekends? Mine was mundane like anything, parents not home, siblings either playing on their games or slamming their drums away. Picnic was canceled, french wasn't done, finance not touched, law not yet inspired, & it's the beginning of the busy term with 5 projects waiting for us to meet the deadline. Hang on, people!
I need plently of lucks for french on tuesday, god bless me please. I hope i can get it through successfully without any tongue tied and forgetting words.

I received the warning letter via email, which means the letter to my house is on its way. I better react faster than mum or i will probably earn a series of nagging or even deduction of allowance. sheeeez.

The ulcer in my mouth had forbid me to talk much, i should do like what Y told me to, " POUR SALT LA! "
knnn, pain leh okay.

oh ya, i've added new songs to my ipod. (:

disgusting thoughts when i saw this!

and this is for annaker!

I think i make such a lousy girlfriend sometimes. The reason why is because I might appear as a strong person outside, someone who'll never cry over things but deep inside me, I'm as fragile as a thin glass. I might break anytime and the facade is an appearance to protect myself from getting hurt and bullied. somethings are better when they're left unsaid.

Let's study harder, kayak harder, tennis harder, play hardest and eat like there's no tomorrow.
let's go! :)

2008-06-29T00:24:00.003+08:00

All out of all, materialistic fulfillment is still the one that brings a smile on my face and not anything else.
To be frank, I haven't been shopping decently for the longest time which is quite unbelievable but i swearrrrrrr.

My brother's sweet enough to drive me to Wheelock in the evening to meet the two Ys.
& yes, i've got myself another pair of pumps from Zara. I love the two Ys, because they never failed to cheer my day on and make me forget about those unhappiness inside me. We talked so much about our latest love interest(ahhh, not really. just some random new dudes) & laughed like mad beings who ever existed. The laughter would never ceased to brighten up my days & of course, the gossips. (:
After that, i went to Paradiz to meet my brother, and we went home together.

I want to buy the Agnes B bag. okay, save up save up! shall feed on carrot sticks from tomorrow okay.

I've been whining a lot lately, especially to the usuals.

Serbian, Stop being a whiney poo, you turd!

Its so quiet now that I can hear the clock tickling seconds by seconds.
Goodnight (:

2008-06-27T23:12:00.002+08:00

I've heard this news quite awhile back that the world is ending 2012. I don't know if its true but if it is, there's no point studying and boys no point wasting 2yrs in NS!! let's quit school tomorrow, and guys, forget about NS!
anyway the news has really tingled my nerves. could this be real? :(

The past few days were really good food, i've never rlly participated in this great sale coz you know the stuff on sale are either left-on-the-shelves or the sizes are out. So for the past few days, i had been roaming around mango stores, saying of which, the bag i bought over hundred dollars is now on sale to double digit. :(
whatever, foo!
what have you babies snagged home from the great singapore sale? everybody's carrying mango now!

I'm in sleeping debt.

have a good weekends!

2008-06-26T00:26:00.004+08:00

I cannot begin to describe how much i love them all. (inserts NEO at the side)
They had been there, to watch me laugh, watch me cry(eh but comes to it, i've never cried so..),
watch me curse and swear, and watch me feel stupid.
I had the best time with the best company so nothing is inexcusable.
When it comes to school, I'm only able to mutter a three syllable word : ''Surviving''.
Without them in class or school, I doubt I would even be able to survive,
let alone try to mutter any syllable.
i'm completely NOTHING without you people.
(:

xoxo,
S.

2008-06-23T23:45:00.002+08:00

hot cup of milk
headphones on with french pronunciation exercises playing on repeated mode.
It's better off alone now, and i can't wait to get over tomorrow, over french class, over the day.

When things get a little tad bit too boring, it makes it a truck big meaningless to pen down any.
Holy shit, buy me some candies.

For now, I need to rush for a hot bath, reply emails, get my work done, finish one chapter of my book, listen to Estelle and Kayne West's American Boy, take a breather and go to bed.

goodnight earthlings :)

2008-06-22T23:23:00.005+08:00

My 2 weeks vacation wheezed by so quickly, it was like a rapid ascent but with no decompression sickness.

The weekends passed by so quickly, i'm not even prepared for school at all! There's still 5-6 weeks of school before there's a one month or two month break, which I think it's not going to make any differences in me. I sound like I'm in a mental break, but not really because there were better things to do and beautiful people to be around with. (:

I saw the most ugliest Singaporeans during this term break, which was basically during the PC SHOW. I wouldn't want to mention it all over again but i didn't expect that totally. At that moment, I thought I was so cool to walk away. But to think of it now, I wondered why did I even bother to stoop down to her level? I could have easily shown her my middle finger, save my breath and walk away too. Even though that sounded really uncouth too but at least a powerful hand sign would have meant so much more. It equates to Anita Sarawak's trademark of Talk to my hand! but to think of it, she isn't even worthed any of my efforts to even extend my arms to ask her to talk to my hand.

Then again, i didn't have much fun this holiday. Happier days were when we basically shopped, went for movie dates with the lover girls and boys, laughed our ass off and enjoy each other's company along the way. Ultimate happiness was when i splurged on anything that i liked. Depressing days were when i argued with the boyfriend. Enough said, It's not always rainbows and butterflies, It's compromise that moves us along.

My cellphone's down again. (yes, AGAIN!) and this time round the old phone is not giving me any face, it refuses to work. So i'm with some pok pok phone that i found during the ransacking.
I bought my new laptop, and the old one will be passed on to my dearrrr sister after servicing :)
p/s: thanks dad!
Dad bought this new china-brand iphone? okay it's damn cool, and we watched channel 8 with the phone when we were caught in the jam. Who cares whether it's a cheeena brand or not? It's cheap and functional!

I got to be studious from tomorrow onwards because i can't afford to skip anymore classes. It means i can get debarred anytime! I think holidays are bad because I would spend a great amount of time having late nights busy doing almost nothing productive, only bitchy rambles on a chatlog. Then my body would start falling apart, I'll start falling sick and having heavy eyebags/dark eyerings. You'll hear me complain more.
I know i had been blogging a lot, but heck! because i know i won't be even touching this when school starts.
I know i'm going to dread french class this week. ):

okay bye bye people, i'm excited for school tomorrow because i know i'm going to see people whom i missed much much. (this includes laughing at Yiting's hair!) nye-aha!

i found this when i was packing the laptop!
hahaha, tak glammmm. big nostrils siol!
but you know what, i miss your little friends in your noseeeee, (heee!)

okay, i know i'm damn irritating. :P

2008-06-22T13:50:00.007+08:00

hi babies, come to mama now.
(soooon, can't wait yo!)

my laptop is giving me a lot of problem, i can't use IE, IE blocked my ibank account, i can't do my report etc etc.
oh man!

If the world doesn't suck, we'll all fall :)

2008-06-21T22:25:00.000+08:00

And today, I realized I get frustrated when I cannot get things done quick and good. I'll start throwing temper. To say, I belong to the modern society's obsession with doing things faster and better, and how things would take a toll on us. I guess, movement is challenging the cult of speed. The addiction to speed starts from the moment we wake up, and it starts from checking the time when we're awake. From that moment onwards, the clock calls the shot.
For example, when we fall behind work, we get a quicker internet connection. When the webpage we want to enter takes forever to appear, we start blaming the computer/the connection. If we have no time to read the novel we like, we do speed reading by reading the gist of the story. Too busy to cook, we'll just eat instant noodles or buy a microwave oven. Things should not and cannot be slowed down, but only sped up. But don't we all realize, everything takes time and they need slowness. Like how you can't expect a seed to blossom into a beautiful flower overnight.

My mind is always playing out why something went wrong yesterday and what could go wrong today and tomorrow. Right now, right now, right now. My mind would keep playing in a tape motion. But you know, we all shouldn't fret and get our brains fried. We should all be gentle on ourselves.
Yeah and my mind told me my laptop is dieing on me today. & it did.

i played on the curlers today.
& is that any ways for the hair to grow faster and thicker?!?!
*insert sheepish smile* some of your will know what i want to do right? :)

okay how does this feels?

I'm going off to feed my Larry&Harry, and then maybe pour some food for Merci.

I've got loads of rantings inside me. Wanna hear me rant like a bitch?
but then again...
Let's morph into gentler souls and not be so hard on, on ourselves, and on others.

goodnight!!

2008-06-20T23:53:00.000+08:00

I was walking on the streets someday back with this group of gothic people and then again behind me, there's this group of young hip-hoppppers.
I think people are just blindlessly believing depression is linked to Gothic. Says who happy people can't be gothic?

People nowadays get their labels all mixed up, including sexuality. They label themselves with whatever sort of styles, oblivious to the fact that they're making themselves seen as laughing stocks. Just because you paint your nails black&wear eyeliner, you tell people, Hey dude, I'm Gothic so respect me. I would probably throw you eyeliner pencils and ask you to fuck yourself. Some donked on their skating shoes, and try balancing themslves on a skateboard, they'll tell you, Hey brother, I'm yer kinda sk8ter. 24/7! I would break the skateboard on his/her head. A number of them can rap like 50cents, wear netted caps, wear those oversized tees&baggy pants, walk with a bouncy style with their fingers crossed in the hip-hop style and hang a bling bling on their necks, they'll run to you saying, Yo! I'm hip-hop! I'll get Charlie Chaplin to dance in front of him/her. Some scream like fuck into the mikes, slam the drum during their jamming sessions, the boys say We're the punk rock. Excuse me, everyone can scream. I'll scream for them.

Why do you need styles to define yourself? Isn't that just following the style? I do wear eyeliner but not to the extend of proclaiming I'm Gothic. I don't know why style is it that I have but at least I don't go around, uncertain of my own style but telling people I'm gothic because I'm depressed; I'm a skater because I'm learning balancing on the skateboard; I'm emo-rock because I scream alot when I sing. See, it's just not right when you break your neck when you're trying to bboy because most of your friends are into bboying. It's not right to kiss a boy and say he's gonna be your husband. AM I RIGHT?

However, I'm not implying that you have no rights to dress the way you want yourself to look like or be but just don't try too hard. (:

Yesterday was kayaking in the hot sun and warm water and then saw me watching Get Smart. Kayak was awesome with the guys as company. Saw the kids in them despite their big TWO, splashing water at each other and having lorryloads of fun. I can't exactly recalled what i did last night but all i know was i finished another 3 chapters of my novel before i slpt. That would explained why i couldn't wake up this morning to meet Y.

Today was Funan mall and then roaming around bugis for a little while. It's been really a long while since i went there. After that was home and then for a last-minute supper with W and rest.

I need to study a little for the coming test but annoyingly my sister is beside me slamming on the keyboard playing her games.
mum just came in the room and asked when am i going to register for my btt! haa. she will give me the green light if she pass me the money, and i'm all READY to go!
I can't stand the way my sister defines me as one of those hopeless cases on the road, she will go,
"OMG, SIS YOU GOING TO DRIVE?!?!!!?! ARE YOU SURE?! YOU CAN'T EVEN PLAY A PROPER RACING GAME WITH ME, YOU GONNA DRIVE?! DRIVE A REAL CAR?!?! " (=.=)

there's a party at homeCLUB this sunday, but i've got school the next day!
how?

i is going to join Safra kayaking club next month
i is going to buy new laptop.
I have got this big blue back on the back :(
& i need to seek solace and rest my body now.

2008-06-18T22:04:00.002+08:00

I can't believe i just finish watching Sex and the city all by myself.

Love is something everyone is still in search of every single day. When is it we gonna find it?
Labels, everyone loves it. At least most of us do. Do you?

But which label is the one that never goes out of fashion?

Awesome show.

2008-06-18T15:58:00.001+08:00

how about this?

2008-06-17T23:52:00.013+08:00

A play with those words, but the hidden meaning embedded so deep within. It took me awhile to understand the twist of words but Jesus Christ, it made a hell load of sense to me. It's often the petty arguments you indulged in with your other halves which always ended up with K fuckoff, whatever bye! And then when your other half calls back, you know you're going to win the argument and you're fucking happy about it but you faked this WHAT(inserts a very annoyed and sick tone) when you pick up the phone.

I hate myself sometimes, I have this repetitive mode set inside my body all the time. Each time somebody calls or greets me online, my first response would be WHAT!, as if saying a decent hello or anything proper would seep the fucking soul out of me. I can't believe how uncouth I am sometimes, I would go HAHAHAHA HELLO KNN!. Sometimes, I really humour myself. When would I shut up and start being nice and proper in my greeting.

I apologize for the lack of updates. Today saw me catching Incredible Hulk and roaming around amk for the longest time, and then "breathing" some fresh air with S in the evening before heading home and fell asleep on the couch like some sleeping beauty.

I've learnt, if one refuses, there's no point forcing.

I don't like couples fighting when they have no idea what they have. They cannot see the fact that they have companion and someone who loves them more than they do. They don't know how to treasure him/her until he's/she's gone. Be it love or lust, at least there's a recognition of something. My Romeo mislabels me as his Juliet because sometimes, I'm left to choke on my own emotions to a point of no redemption. Don't fight, don't let the feelings go to waste. (: thats what i constantly remind myself.

fat soon just called, and you got no idea how fucking happpy i am when i saw his incoming call, but hey you're not forgotten okay, and i did not go MIA.
NICHOLAS =] said: when i hear your voice, i was like over the moon sun and earth

i need a trim soon, i just settled the NLB's fine and got myself a new novel.

I'm going to kayak soon, finish my project, finish my french by tomorrow. (i doubt so)

pictorial fun for now!

we're the rockstar!

CALLING THE YCK`S! hiii gay boys!

goodnight!

2008-06-15T00:49:00.006+08:00

I hate when i was being maligned. ):
I'm earning peanuts at the PC show. but still, it's the company that makes it fun and enjoyable. I have a lot of photos taken during work, upload soon okay.

Last day of work, last week of term break, last month before boyfriend's enlistment.

I'm desperate of sleep now, so another day.

P/S: Happy birthday buddy saw!

2008-06-10T22:11:00.005+08:00

i've yet to give them a name.
definitely not larry tom dick jerry harry.

yet another day, supposedly to have tennis with Y, but due to unforseen circumstances, we stayed in and slpt longer. On the contrary, i went for badminton session with my sister, then back to running on the tracks, before going over to our favorite pet house in the night. (:

tomorrow's back to school for projects and hopefully movie after that.

this week gonna be pretty packed for me. how was yours?

i'm going to play UNO with my sister now. & did i mention my sister changed her name to Amber? (:
yes, Amber, her fortune teller told her to do so but i think she kinda hate it when people start calling her A-ber.

byebye.

2008-06-09T22:30:00.000+08:00

hello Mr teddy, you have been the best companion ever.

My mom always remind us that having faith gets us through almost everything.
I'm afraid of having too much faith because sometimes faith fails me and I end up failing myself. I used to have faith in everything but recently I started losing faith because I'm so afraid of slowing losing my grip of the things I invested a lot of faith in.

Work over the weekends was fun, supper, supper, supper and celebrating ZY's birthday as well.

I think I'm stupid, I watched Norbit on my laptop alone and barked with laughter alone. Now I'm going to watch Mr Woodcock alone and laugh to my four walls.
I rest in for the day, shoved the phone and laptop aside till now, went for a quick run in the evening before heading over to the Pet House in the night to take a look at those tortoise and fishes.
I'm going to finish a few chapters of the R.digest and go to bed. And this would be the slowest, coldest and most mundane day spent with my family.

I was being asked the most absurd question recently.(i'm not going to tell you what)
I wanted to say I don't care but saying I don't care means I'm trying to run away. I go for the heart, not for the anatomy because a penis isn't necessary the greatest god's gift. Some guys use their penis(es) to talk, not their brains.

bye!

2008-06-07T00:02:00.012+08:00

Yenfenn's birthday at Fish&Co.

(WTF YOU WANT ME TO DO? SHY LEHHH!)

DO-RE-MI! 18th and heights!
make a wish!

blow your candle with your might.

She loves broccoli, right?

Food was awesome, ambience was fantastik and the company was the ultimate.
& if you are thinking why she's holding a broccoli in her hand, thats thanks to me who got her one instead of her favorite lily! nye-hahah! i bet your 18th's celebration is better than before and probably more memorable!
p/s: please save keep the broccoli under your bed because it may bring you lucks in finding a HOT boyfriend. & how was the card i made for you? NICE RIGHT. hehehe! :)

Picture of the day:

we're all rich because of her!
we fined her for every grain of rice she left over,
reason because she's severely underweight and there's nothing to be proud of okay!
she finished the entire seafood platter for her, thats her biggest achievement for the month i guess.
CHEEEERS :D

I feel really fat now, because i think i've eaten too much than usual today.
I'm going to do some workout before i hit the sack.

lack of sleep and the obvious eyebags, but still let's welcome the holiday!

p/s again: HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY ANG ZHEN YAN! :)

2008-06-05T21:40:00.005+08:00

The reason why i'm home before 6pm was partly because of the exhaustion within me, i couldn't stay awake during lessons, but oh i tell you, the call center lab practical was damn fun!

tgif tomorrow, the week just whizzed past like this.

Holiday's in the air. (:
I just finished watching "It's a Boy Girl Thing", it will be in the theater later in the month but i can't wait to catch it. Awesome show with two thumbs up.
Saying of which, I can't seem to keep those cash with me very well as it has all mostly gone to food or to the ultimate addictive online shopping. To top it up, i've caught too much movies this month.

And i'm supposed to be studying for my last paper tomorrow, but i couldn't sit still after half an hour, so HECK! i sucks at accounting, maybe i should try harder huh.

To Do`s List :
1) French presentation (omfg! critical)
2) BF/B-LAW/EFMA/MKT Project.
3) I need to revise/sleep.
4) Finish up 6 seasons of Sex and the City
5) The L word probably? (:
6) Tennis.
7) Kayak.
8) Ipod/Creative? (ohyes, i need one desperately to replace the old)
9) HAIRCUT.
10) Get a new novel.

this pretty sums up my term break. (:
p/s: don't laugh, (yes) i'm a southpark fan.

Oh and i just signed up for Nyp Swim Meet, ;)

2008-06-05T21:38:00.000+08:00

Always be my baby
By David Cook

We were as one babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine
Now you want to be free
So I'm letting you fly
Cause I know in my heart babe
Our love will never die, no!

You'll always be a part of me
I'm a part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me

Ooh darling cause you'll always be my... my baby

I ain't gonna cry no
And I won't beg you to stay
If you're determined to leave girl
I will not stand in your way
But inevitably you'll be back again
Cause ya know in your heart babe
Our love will never end no

You'll always be a part of me (oooohhhh)
I'm part of you indefinitely (oooohhhh)
Girl don't you know you can't escape me (ooooohhhhhh)
Ooh darlin cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on (and we will linger on)
Time cant erase a feeling this strong (ohhhh)
No way you're never gonna shake me (oh baby)
Ooh darlin cause you'll always be my baby

know that you'll be back girl
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder oooohhh
I know that, you'll be right back, babe
Ooooh! baby believe me it's only a matter of time

You'll always be apart of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my my baby....

You'll always be apart of me (you will always be)
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on (we will linger on)
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

Always Be My Baby (American Idol Studio Version) - David Cook

row row row your boat.

2008-06-04T22:45:00.004+08:00

I went to kayak today, truckloads of fun okay! I'm going again during the term break to continue rowing, any takers in for the fun? (:

&
i want to run on the tracks tomorrow.

My current tired eyes which are going to shut like gates of hell; malfunctioning brains and sore fingers make it impossible to come up with something logical, and interesting of course. Suggest the best remedy of all, and that would be sleep.

Till things are better again, till i feel like talking it...
Goodnight.

2008-06-04T02:02:00.003+08:00

The feeling of being expected too much or expecting alot out of others is always indestructible. All of this expectations run hard after you, and sometimes, you're able to fulfil those expectations but sometimes, you would not even meet the mark. It's pretty funny, this whole expectation cycle repeats itself all over again, like it doesn't gets tired of going rounds. You know, people around you expect a whole load of shit out of you and at the same time, you expect a whole load of shit out of people too. I'm sure, in a way or another, we all set expectations to achieve something out of a particular something/someone.

In school, we set expectations or you'd like to call it our target for our results or the certain CCA rank you'll want to achieve by a time. In work, we have our goal settings in order to excel and get a promotion.The list of expectations goes on depending on the roles.

Some people may work well with expectations while some may not. I live my life with not much of expectations but the last thing i will do is to allow people to bound me, and set me a list of expectations I have to fulfil.

Now, would life be a humdrum if there's no expectations?

School was fucked.

2008-06-02T00:20:00.010+08:00

equation time!
but N says NO, I'M INCORRECT.

oh yeah thats the way.
(K.F is our secret code)

so much for making me feel fat, thanks ah pal!

I think our English is getting from bad to worse, partially thanks to the finance shortiee who "sal-bage" us.
(ha ha ha ha!)

Joey: Yenfenn tomorrow is go dental is it?
Serbian: yeah, she are go dental tomolo. So you wants me to waiting for you in the bus interchange? (-.-)

i can't believe i'm talking this way to her!

Sometimes you get caught. Caught up in moments, in the whirlwind of events. Caught unaware. It's just not you but the wrong place, wrong time, wrong company can really easily add up to giving people the wrong idea about yourself. And yet again the way things look drift away from the way things really are.

We have to make the best effort to love life and ourselves.. at most times.

I wish I could walk around with a big sign stuck somewhere on my body written HANDLE WITH CARE.
(bring me a pen and a cardboard now.)

As always,
XOXO
bring me gummies.

i is going to turn in now. (:

2008-06-01T13:13:00.003+08:00

omfgfgfgggfgg, can i have a regular Java Chip Blended Coffee?

studying for law's a killa. what a bummer, what a bummerrrrrrrrrrrrrr (x10000).

HAIYOO HOLLY MOLLY LAA.

2008-05-31T21:13:00.004+08:00

Toilet paper or certificate?

Since young, I have always think that people who studied in universities and gotten themselves a degree are very smart. Very smart, indeed. So, I've always wanted to get a degree for myself because a degree meant that I could be a lawyer, doctor or land me an occupation which could earn me big bucks. That mentality was when I was in Primary School.

Now, I adopted a different mentality. I'll get a diploma and see where I'll go from there. The strongest field I'll be in would be shopping, unfortunately. You will tell me, the smartest is when you obtain a PHD which is Permanent Head Damage in my case. Take sales and marketing. Do you rather a person who gets a diploma with rich experience in sales and marketing to work for you and has a resume more colorful than an undergraduate with a degree related to sales and marketing but has zilch experience in it?

In the past, people always looked down on people with certificates lower than a degree or to make things worse, one who has no certificate at all. Thankfully, times have changed because people without a degree has proved themselves to be one of those who would excel in the society. Just as we have thought that times have changed for the better and would change for good, you would be wrong because society chooses to seperate those who has a degree and those who don't, be it your choice or not. The society is harsh, if you have not realized and the standard of living is so high. If you are not able to carve out a name or anything for yourselves, you would be gone, being regarded as the pariahs of the society which is to put it simply, useless people.

So what if you have a degree but lack of EQ?! Bosses/superiors with a degrees but have a thrashy attitude, seen that. I just wanted to say that, everyone has their own niches and there is nothing wrong if you just stop there with just a diploma because there's so many people out in the society scoring big without a degree.

don't you agree with me?

The week had been fucking stressful for me, i'm thankful that it's the weekends because it's my long awaited break to mark the end of the madness school's been throwing at me.

Worst case still to run away from french class. I told you, I hate Tuesdays. I went to class late because I couldn't wake up or at least I told myself not to wake up. & now i couldn't catch up with whats happening.

Getting into the top 11 main team's been screwing my ass up, because i know 99% of the chances are, i won't get into the team. The remaining 1% comes from the luck, but saying of which, i had been down on my luck the past few weeks. I got fined by the NLB for not returning their books, i lost my Topshop value card (like fuck laaaaa hor!) and to add on to the frustration, my thighs are growing increasingly side ways.

I feel disgusted when I see my reflection in the mirror. My stomach has so much fats and it seemed to be having a life of it's own. Soon, I bet you, my stomach would bounce around and it'll have a name of Siew Mai.

I had a verbal fight with my mum, but heck!
I can't tolerate,
anymore.
Again and again, like a cycle which never seem to end.
You have no fucking idea, nothing about me, about anything.

omfg, i need to breathe.

i hope you know.

2008-05-30T00:26:00.008+08:00

As the weeks slowly grind its way to time when... the mid semester tests are ready to greet us with open arms. I cannot fathom how time flies. It is already the 6th week of school! Wow, it seems like yesterday when I was still on holidays, still whining about waking up early in the morning and dreaded the fact that I'm not ready to meet my classmates, and make new friends. Today, I'm used to waking up early, adore my classmates immensely and made absolutely fabulous new friends in the campus. Time seems to be on a machine ticking and accelerating its time away. Oh, such is life!
My life so far is rather mundane, with projects piling up and I have alot to prove to people. Projects aside, studies is becoming like an impending doom. You have got to study to get results.

Tuesday saw me watching Indiana Jones with the usuals, i think the show's quite silly compared to the last few. For now, I'm anticipating my " NARHIA " (:
Today, i woke up late for finance class again, (die die also must go!) or else i'm going to receive my debarrment letter, fooo! School was pretty frustrating today albeit everyone should be getting into their high holidaying spirits but I think the frustration and the short fuse was caused by the deadline given to us for project tmrw, saw a few of them scratching their brains and banging the tables. After that was tennis and dinner at Thomson.

Okay, here you go the visuals.

i think this is really cool! i would want a SLK/cooper for my wedding too (:

pretty girls pretty boys.

So the belly tired, i is going to sleep and fail my lab test tomorrow.

2008-05-27T00:23:00.008+08:00

The past week was tedious. It perpetually left me with swollen eyes and a head full of unnecessary thoughts. If only you learnt how to love this much.

Each time I'm out, I would fall asleep everywhere.

Preparing for J's wedding, studying and including SCREWING up my finance paper, up and down stays in the hospital till late, having not enough sleep practically almost everyday, missed training, meeting the deadline of marketing project, focusing hard during lessons, preparing for upcoming ICAs, all these had consumed me with fatigue. That pretty explains the lack of update.

I pray Zenn will recover soon, it pains me especially when i saw him moaned in pain and actually cried, i swear it must have hurt him a lot, letting off whims in the middle of his sleep scared us. I feel helpless, and all i do is stay by the bed watching him go into sleep. Think faith.

It's only monday, and it's sapping the energy out of me. I would whine from Monday to Friday about how tormenting school is because the workload gets heavier with each semester. Education drives you nuts sometimes and you can go home to tell your parents you learnt nothing in school except learning how to be insane.

I promise to load those overdued photos soon.

you can treat me gummybears, i will feel better

they say, big girls don't cry.

2008-05-21T22:33:00.002+08:00

Human beings are complexed creatures
with tones of warpped ideas/plans/strategies.

Its a jungle out there.

don't you agree with me?

School's a waste of time today, we practically laughed through the entire one hour lecture.
thanks to my broken Chinese verbs (i really tried very hard to phrase it nicely okay!).

It's rather worrying when so many things are not done yet so little time.
Yet all I feel now, is just a weird sense of calmness, with a twinge of frustration.

2008-05-20T23:08:00.005+08:00

Let's check up on my readings for today :

yes, you might be feeling like how i do, READ ON. (:

It looks like you are going to meet your match today!
Someone pops onto the scene who has as much charm, as much intelligence, and as much wit as you do. At first you might feel like your territory is being taken over, but if you give this person a shot you will stop seeing them as competition and start seeing them as one heck of a cool person.
There is room enough for both of you, so considering teaming up. Y
ou two might have a wonderful future together.

Then again, i thought to myself. I haven't met anyone new today, i didn't accidentally bump into any fellas.
I was either with my classmates or hanging around with my boyfriend most of the time.
I met my boyfriend today for dinner, so he's my match? (oh no!) the agony of tolerating all his nonsense, and his unglamorous picking nose times, his must-have-chicken-in-every-meal attitude etc etc etc and the whole list goes on, but then again he's one heck of a cool boyfriend who means really a lot to me. (:

I am usually a believer for horoscope, to test for some optimal accuracy. I will always hold it till the end of my day and then tally it with what happened for my day. Today doesn't seems to tally. hmm!

i look extremely tiny beside him.
you're only 1.84 inches (inside joke!) NIA, i still look tall la HOR!

I am robbed of my sleep. Nope, not because I have been burying my head into books and studying (me no closet mugger, chill). I have been staying up late to use the computer, been bumming around, and have been doing anything but studying. & i had to literally drag myself out of the bed this morning but yet i was still late for french class.

I'm bored stiff now. my boyfriend is slaying his monsters, and i'm typing shiazxzxt now.

it's probably snoooozzzeeee time!
goodnight earthlings.

2008-05-19T15:52:00.005+08:00

i love them all and i hold them close to my heart.

I bet you guys must be pondering why am i on good terms with S when just few months back, he drove me up to the wall and i hate him deep to the core. I used to hate him so much that i forget the reason why i hate him. When you hate somebody, it takes up so much of your energy. Hating is so tedious. & life is too short for that ah huh. even everyone's on seperate ways, but i'm glad we still can catch up with each other's life.
Now who says lovers can't be friends? (:
(i think partly also because of my outgoing nature LAAAA)

When stress = motivation x determination / results
stress is not proportionate to results because when you achieve good results, your stress level drop. and to get results, just divide by stress and it will reduced half. (:
play around with this formula when you're stressed! it definitely helps.

i miss my best friend.
& buddy, if you're reading this, i want to tell you that i appreciate your call the other day.

the thought of attending french class tml sucks.
my timetable's screwed by the way.

Till then..

XOXO,
S.

2008-05-19T01:50:00.004+08:00

Sorry By Buckcherry

Oh I had a lot to say was thinking on my time away
I missed you and things weren't the same
Cause everything inside it never comes out right
And when I see you cry it makes me want to die
I'm sorry I'm bad,
I'm sorry I'm blue,
I'm sorry about all things I said to you
And I know I can't take it back
I love how you kiss,
I love all you're sounds,
and baby the way you make my world go round
And I just wanted to say I'm sorry
This time I think I'm to blame it's harder to get through the days
You get older and blame turns to shame
Every single day I think about how we came all this way
The sleepless nights and the tears you cried it's never too late to make it right
Oh yeah sorry

2008-05-18T00:56:00.006+08:00

I think this is hilarious. (click on it to have a clearer view of it!)

I need to talk to mum soon, (urgently) so that i can register for my driving by next week.

Bummed around at home for abit, traded tutorials and revisions for a full day's sleep. I think i should stop procrastinating and complete my marketing project soon or probably read up for my quiz or even start my revision for finance because i know i'm such a gonecase for that module. =/ but instead i spent my time WISELY on ensuring myself having enough sleep.

We always have impromptu plans, so dinner was at Raffles City, some Japanese's restaurant, when i mention Japanese's restaurant, i bet first thing that comes into your mind was sushi but NOPE! i don't fancy sushi btw but in fact it was all the Japanese cuisine like the ice cream green tea moshi (oh what do you call that, the white ball?), tempura, omelette tomato rice whatever you called that. Overall, I quite like it (:

and i have no idea why Janet Jackson's Feedback is playing like right now on its own.
I'm gonna feedback, feedback~

2008-05-16T23:54:00.004+08:00

hello ah neh`s!

p/s: i don't quite like my group btw.

i like this very much because i took this.
so how do you rate my photography skills?

& because of these, i had a terrbile night.

henna.

threading.

you want some prata? (:

We went on a little excursion to Little India on thursday to get our NE project done. It was pretty fun. Its more of like tourist-visiting kinda thing instead of an educational trip.

It's the most exhausting week ever, probably for me. How about yours? It is apparent that I am still leading a very mundane life. So I'm just gonna rant. Well, today, yours truly experienced a queer battle. A battle within herself. The 2 contenders were Me and I! I was mildly surprised at myself for behaving this way but lately, I've been too busy and too tired which leaves me no time to brood.

My parents and siblings have always been a huge influence of the happiness the house has but right now, the silence in the house is too suffocating.
It just made me realize that when you grow up, you cannot simply say things you want to anymore. Only kids say the darnest things because they are allowed to and they would be let off with much mercy.

Because when you grow up, people expect you to have wisdom and be responsible for the things we say. There are times when you just want to say something but you know the best thing to do is to keep mum and not include any of your comments or suggestions because it would end up offending people even though deep down, you have a whole load of things to say. But you can't because when you said what you have said, no matter how much explaining you attempt to do, the words would have already made a mark.

It's all these little things which make me realize that I'm growing up and that there are certain actions I have to be responsible for. Slowly, I'll be leaving my youth behind me and proceeding to adulthood. Maybe life is all about losing the child in you, learning and knowing how to handle things like an adult with much rationality and responsibility.

Sounds fulfilling, and i realized june is coming soon.

The weekend doesn't seem promisingly good for me. I want to go picnic soon, i want to ride on a bike and let the cool breeze pass by me and embrace the peace at my heart.

i had been listening to Buckcherry's Sorry for the past 6 hours, this is muthucrazy.

i send a silent prayer.

2008-05-16T11:20:00.001+08:00

Sway
by Bic Runga

Don’t stray
Don’t ever go away
Should be much too smart for this
You know it gets the better
Of me
Sometimes
When you and I collide
I fall into an ocean of you
Pull me out in time

Don’t let me drown
Let me down
I say it’s all because of you
And here I
Go
Losing my control
I’m practicing your name
So I can say it to your face

It doesn’t seem right
To look you in the eye
And let all the things
You mean to me
Come tumbling out my mouth

Indeed it’s time
Tell you why
I say it’s
Infinitely true

Say you’ll stay
Don’t come and go
Like you do
Sway my way
Yeah I need to know
All about you

And there’s no cure
And no way to be sure
Why everything’s turned
Inside out
Instilling so much doubt

It makes me so tired
I feel so uninspired
My head is battling with my heart
My logic has been torn apart

And now
It all turns sour
Come sweeten
Every afternoon

Say you’ll stay
Don’t come and go
Like you do
Sway my way
Yeah I need to know
All about you

Say you’ll stay
Don’t come and go
Like you do
Sway my way
Yeah I need to know
All about you

It’s all because of you
It’s all because of you

Now it all turns sour
Come sweeten
Every afternoon

It’s time
Tell you why
I say it’s
Infinitely true

Say you’ll stay
Don’t come and go
Like you do
Sway my way
Yeah I need to know
All about you

Say you’ll stay
Don’t come and go
Like you do
Sway my way
Yeah I need to know
All about you

It’s all because of you
It’s all because of you
It’s all because of you

2008-05-15T23:35:00.004+08:00

The reason why I'm home before 8pm today is because my nose needs to find inner peace (it's been leaking nonstop which I killed a forest for my tissue paper), an imbal sore throat, a running high fever which i thought it's going to burn my brain cells off soon.

I'm totally pissed due to the immune system failing on me at this time plus varied factors, i want to get to sleep but i couldn't.
I just witnessed Zen being pushed up to the ambulance, he will be fine, and hopefully he doesn't have to stay there. think faith.

i'm hungry, i'm sweating &

i have issues.

2008-05-14T23:51:00.000+08:00

it's one of the hardest night to pass through.

i haven't eaten anything since 2pm.
my head is spinning, my stomach is singing weird songs, i've got 9am class tmrw, but still..

what happens in vegas is great! aston kutcher is hot, HOT, H-O-T.

i've been in a sleeping debt. & i really need to manage my time.
I can't freaking wait to graduate. Who said that poly life was wonderful, i beg to differ.
I've been so grumpy about everything recently.

Till then,
Your sleepyhead
S.

2008-05-12T23:55:00.006+08:00

and everyone's looking round, thinking i'm going crazy. maybe, maybe..
but i don't care what they say......

i need to stop playing bleeding love for f shit and get back to my french revision!
i need to stop drinking coke light. ):

oh wait, i love tonight's dinner.
there's this joy inside me that can't be explained, seeing everybody that i want to again, things that i thought that won't be changed had a new approach, & i'm glad things turned out well, i'm truely happy tonight.
smiles aplenty okay?

things that i need to do:
1) re-string racket!
2) get all the presents exchange for the correct sizes!
3) a bright, and eye catching HIGH LIGHTER!
4) steal my brother's TIN-TIN pencil box. hehehe!
5) collect my sandals.
6) REVISE. i really have to. =/
7) start on my marketing project. (omggzx!)
8) turn in now!

okay bye!

2008-05-11T23:36:00.002+08:00

Saw me browsing topshop online catalog for countless times, mild damage now.
it'll turn severe if i continue.

I just bought a pair of gladiator sandals. (;

I is going to stop spending and save up my money for my wedding.
I is going to remind mum to return my hundreds over bucks later on.
I is going to start on my project soon.
I is going Little India for my project this week.

Need to sleep, need to stop singing Bleeding love by Leona Lewis, back to football.

2008-05-11T15:46:00.005+08:00

I had a great weekend, I hope you had yours too. My birthday is over, the government says I'm legal. That entitles me to booze, clubbing, cigarettes and sex. (hahaha!)

I'm completely swamped with fatigue. I had tons of fun celebrating my birthday with different group of people. & the reason why i'm here is because my nose needs to find some inner peace, a gross sore throat, a stiff neck from lousy sleeping position and a body on the brink of malfunctioning instead of spending time with the family on Mother's Day.

I've grown so old, 18 years old but there's no excitement. Do people get really excited to celebrate themselves growing old? In the process of growing up, what I really need the most is lots of money, booze and shopping. People say, you're the God's child when it's your birthday so I believe being a God's child entitles you to positive things. However, I don't believe anything positive has actually befall me on the week of my birthday. If you're wondering why, because i broke the present my boyfriend gave it to me. I'm sad enough, so don't probe on asking WHY HUH, WHY HUH.

Friday was late dins at Paragon, then BJ for supper at Dempsey till late. As usual, we had a hard time finding seats.

i look f fat in the pic, but hell NO.
that's not my tummy i sweaaaaar ):

more visuals soon!

The result of sleeping at 3am, I couldn't wake up at 7am for tennis camp. My phone kept vibrating with phonecalls, and i cabbed down to the training ground as soon as i woke up.
My group were f crazy and we irritated J off with our own created tennis dance and our quote. It was efffffffing fun despite the unbearable weather and the lack of sleep. & thanks for the cake and birthday song, people (:

After tht was roaming around at J8 for mother's day present, then boyfriend's place for very late dinner. I passed out after i reached home, and my head was working like a pendulum.

I had 5 cakes for my birthday this year, and i wished a lot. (HEH!)

I'm ready to go off for my power napping now, because i'm gluing my eyes to the chelsea v bolton match tonight. okay, maybe a little on wigan v man utd too.
i understand that its a 99% chance that man utd will win the title, but anw never mind. Chelsea better kick well tonight!

Happy Mother's Day by the way!

2008-05-09T00:30:00.016+08:00

I'm legal, soon.
This is a random birthday post.

Tonight was happening because it was my first 18th early birthday celebration with my 03 classmates at INDOCHINE! 03 oy! hahaha. (:

18 cupcakes, 18 candles, whole of INDOCHINE singing birthday song for me, dedicated song from the band, oh and i broke a glass there, (GOOD GAME HUH!) the laughter, the gossiping comes catching up session, everything. i love you guys so many many tonight! :D

A series of hangover, massive nausea and a churning stomach left me with the hardest night to pass ever now. I puked, thanks god because i feel much better now. (:
to those who drank, please drink plenty of water okay!

18 cupcakes, 18 candles (:

i'm going to stuck with them till end of my poly. the agony, hahaha!
play cream with me somemore!

SCANDALLLLL!
HELLO PRETTY`SSS! :D his name is bodoh machiam barbie wong ah koon.
& he think he's effing HOT, (inbar siol!) :)

i got ugly teeth.

UNDER MY UMBRELLA, ella ella.
my heart goes SHALALALA. :)
scandal no. 2

hello, my dearest friend.

more visuals! :)
THANK YOU GUYS for the present and everything, i hope you guys have fun tooo because i did. (:

tomorrow's holland v! :D

To embrace the fact that I'm getting older, or to be afraid of the responsibilities that are stitched to it?

XOXO,
serbian.

2008-05-07T23:59:00.001+08:00

The Square Root of 3
by Dave Feinberg

I’m sure that I will always be
A lonely number like root three

The three is all that’s good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine

For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic

I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality

When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three

As quietly co-waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer

We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands

Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed.

from harold&kumar
sweet!

2008-05-07T23:35:00.004+08:00

I think the chemicals in my body are imbalance nowadays and I have been having seriously severe moodswings till the extend of letting the big bitch out of me. The reason behind all these are contributed by Pre-menstral Syndrome. We're always making PMS our scapegoat but isn't it the same excuse girls use when they have bad mood all the time? So I look like a pimpled-obese cow with dark eye rings; short fused temper; ugly hair and fat chunk of thighs. Will you still want to talk to me?

Today, while i was still in bed. Dad came in and disturb from my sleep ;

dad: you no need to go school today? how come still in bed?!
me: oh, thunder too strong, rain too heavy, all lessons canceled.
dad: huh???

I'm not in a very good mood now, &
those who disturbed me for my previous post on CATS, thanks arrhhh. haaa!
I don't know what my fingers are leading me to if I keep on typing but okay, sleep is the best remedy.

2008-05-06T20:45:00.002+08:00

It's only tuesday. Life sucks. and i'm already almost finishing up my pocket money for the week, and what's more, my birthday is coming! I'm so broke it's really upsetting me. I don't wanna be the potential file for bankruptcy case and judging at how much i'm spending right now i think i'm headed there and it sucks. I'm seriously going to control my spending, probably get rid of my ibanking access as well as opening another POSB account that i don't plan to get an atm card for. thats right. Look who's serious about saving money now.

I dreaded french class. After last week, i think i've forgotten most stuff. Ken was telling me people from france are very sarcastic, because in their country, the more sarcastic you are, it shows more wisdom you have. I don't quite like my current french tutor because she's too observant for the things that's going on around her.

Ailurophobia. ( fear of cats )
I'm recovering from the trauma just now, and i cried like fuck. all thanks to an unsightly, grotesque, unlovely, frightful, menacing cat.

on a happy note, i've got no class tomorrow! :D

2008-05-05T01:33:00.009+08:00

Wishlist ; -
1) i love topshop and zara btw. (:

i have a fetish for tbar sandals, people (:

2)cute hoodies like this will look ultra hip on me (:

3) the delias-so-lookalike jumper from FOX. i'm a medium size btw, a uk10 (:

4) the boho bag from forever 21. (hint: the black one, at wisma outlet, it's on the very top of the shelf!) casual tote bag will do tooo! :D
5) Vagary brown watch. (my mum will get me this, hopefully :/)
6) i love tube dresses. ( so summer/spring like! )
7) A new wallet, ( no Guess please! i love leather kinds.)
8)
Pumps and heels like this, charles and keith would be fine! hahaha. i'm a size 38/39! :)
9) New pair of tennis shoe.
10) Tennis skirt, ( the black one from Adidas! )
11) havaianas. (electric blue/green/red/gold, the one with t-bar crossed or thin strap!)
12) i love sunflowers/yellow daisies btw.
13) Adidas sling bag, able to fit my f shoebag for tennis.
14) the tee shirt from GAP, with the GAP word. HEHEE!
15) ka chings!! :D :D

behold and shake those pockets of yours! I'm never shy with gifts, so spare me the crap about saving the world and saving money alright. Kiss kiss, bye.

2008-05-05T01:05:00.002+08:00

I got my french name, Ghislaine. Cool huh? (:

and koon was trying to make fun of my french name.

KOOON im nothing without you says:
je m'appelle Serbian bodoh machiam barbie

THANKS HUH KOON BUDDY.

bodoh machiam barbie is my middle french name.

i'm dropping hints for my birthday tmrw, so in case you're so frowning over what present to get for me, check back here! heh. (:

2008-05-04T17:55:00.004+08:00

Coming friday night celebration at Timbre is cancel, because i reckon that most of them will be too beat for the Saturday camp. & i can't be selfish just to think for myself.

no more Timbre celebration, and i can't make it for grandma's celebration(guilty times 100000)

i'm going back to my crib to wallow in self pity. boooo.

2008-05-04T00:50:00.002+08:00

Ever since school started, I've been swamped with fatigue and the need for a time machine. My tutors/lecturers this semester are pretty awesome except for the Monday class when mum decided to shut my alarm clock at the wrong timing, disrupting my entire going-school-mood causing me to have a bad start on the first day of school. My Wed class is the best, in fact it's more like a self-declare off day from school for me. Friday's ICT lab lesson was cool because my tutor has got quite a nice ass to boot, just that he talks a little bit too much for his own good.

Yeah, i was at Singapore Flyers on Wednesday. We went there in the evening time, and we were really lucky to have the entire cabin to ourself. The ride was really amazing and definitely unforgettable! I hope it doesn't get overrated too soon though, that'll be a shame.

the view from the top! hands down amazing.

magnificent aye?

If i have enough money by my 19th next year, i'm gonna book one cabin all to myself for a night and hold my own little private party inside with my love ones, about 20 friends the whole night and damn good music.

May 1st was shopping in town with the guys, erm more like their retail therapy.

Yesterday was school, then home for awhile before heading to boyfriend's place with his family to ECP for some food testing. I didn't attend the casting because i was too drained out, so i decided to tell Steff my lesson was extended which clearly implied that i'm giving up the ka chings! however, she said there's another casting which will be held soon, which means i've got one more chance. so why not?

Today, was tennis early in the morning. The weather today was absolutely a killer, after that we had dim sum near amk and then town-ed with fat soon for awhile, (.......), home for some rest after that. I wanted to go Indochine tonight, but then seems like nobody's available for me. So was dinner comes supper comes chilling out at yishun mac with Yaonan twinnie, last train home after that.

Every week is filled with activities, keeps us going non-stop, without much break . Now, i'm feeling super exhausted.
This week;
>My legal 18th!
>Mother's day
>Tennis camp
>Indochine.
>No school on Wed! double joys.

My life, isn't anything fancy these days. I don't fancy school anyway.
I haven't do any readings yet, i haven't touch up a single bit on french.

On top of that, my plans for my 18th birthday are kind of ruined, except for the Indochine on thursday night.
*insert big sigh*
i got this feeling i will be staying in and just stick to my tv on my bird day.
:(

I felt like thrash now and I didn't feel like doing anything except lie on my bed. byebye.

2008-05-03T00:06:00.003+08:00

I take the train bound for school which runs on the same route, heading towards the same direction almost everyday; the rush hour; sight of packed trains bound for City Hall and the morning dews on the field. It is such a precise routine, and everyday I would be doing almost the same thing on the train. Listening to my songs; people watching; mapping out my day ahead or simply just thinking. (then you ask me, since when do I ever think?)

Then, i thought of the mischap which happened on my friend this week. If you read the news, you will know what i'm talking about. Needless to mention much, it dawned on me that everyone has to die eventually, be it of murder; accident; suicide; illness or simply, old age. Even my bestfriends and those whom I love, around me.

That may seem so irritatingly tragic yet all we can do is celebrate her life, Her life of love.

I wouldn't deny this had affected me deep down, it's too sudden and it came too fast.
:(
life is too unpredictable.

I don't know how my life would be 40years down the road. I can't imagine but I hope I would be surviving well. Actually, I want to be a old woman in my swimsuit with my friends, wearing sunhats and basking under the sun sipping expensive red wine by the pool. With my skin sagging to the ground, and my tits flying all around the place when I jump. Because of what? Old age! And they say the more you wish for, the more it's out of reach(not the tits part).

So much for trying to sound like I have a big heart, @#@$#@!%#%$%#!! I have so much more to talk about but not now.

goodnight folks.

2008-05-02T08:52:00.003+08:00

here i am, 9am!

suppose to have lab lesson in school but i jolly well overslpt AGAIN. and it's impossible for me to turn up on time! so i'm leaving the house in another 20minutes or so to catch the train and for my 10am class.

serbian, you should slap yourself. because it's only the first week, and you overslpt twice. & know what, i overslpt on my first day of school. i think it's the anxiety, i couldn't sleep well last night tooo. I'm so beat now, i could have just went back to have my sleep and popped up with a MC next week. BUT NO! serbian is a model student.

okay mum's back with breakfast.

2008-05-02T00:08:00.005+08:00

Please wish me plenty of lucks because i just got to know that i'm selected for the casting tmrw! and if i really passsssssssssss, OMGZXZXZX, i will get two thousand plus ka chings for just 11 days of work! Firstly, the pay is so attractive, and i just have to stand, smile and talk. (:

say hello to my 4 inches of heels tomorrow, the agony.

i will do a proper update tomorrow.

2008-05-01T00:10:00.001+08:00

i just had a verbal fight with Zenn, i hate him for some reasons, you know you always think you're fucking god damn right in everything you assume. But you are SO wrong this time.
i hope he can just f stay in his bunk and only book out during the weekends! At least by then, i will miss his presence in the house or MISS him! but for now, NOT AT ALL, i hope he can just stay away from me. thanks for hurling the vulgarities at me you shitfacezxzxzxxzxx!!

i can't tolerate anymore, i'm going to tell dad tmrw when he calls since mum doesn't really bother. but then again, dad will probably be too busy to care.

i'm going to bury myself in the sheeets now, i think i'm going to explode. ):

2008-04-27T22:11:00.005+08:00

When you actually think that you're getting used to living off your Dad, you look back and begin to think if you've done anything productive the past few days/weeks/months. I was thinking, Oh yes, I did. I helped my Dad to waste money like water and helped with the economic growth. The shopping industry needs somebody like me. I'm not a national heroine, I'm just doing things that I should(HAHAHA, tell me about it). I can't believe I'm so good in idling my day(s) away and in fact, I'll be mastering the art of Idle.

But now, no more idling. In less than 24 hours, i will be sitting in lecture hall, probably snoring my ass off or drooling over the male lecturer.

This holiday had been good, school starts meaning no more hanging out late till 2 3am outside, i will be back to the Cinderella days all over again, more projects, more scratching your head over the tutorial questions, more streeesssszxzx. After finishing typing this sentence, i'm no longer excited about school, in fact i think the excitement within me had gone away one week ago.

I do need a great come back.. for every aspect. From school work to eating/sleeping habits and attitude. Need to be back, better than before, and, getting better. Need to have more positive vibes towards school.. school.. school work.. school. Cultivating proper eating-on-time habits, going to bed at a healthy time, and possessing a good attitude.

I promise to study harder from tomorrow onwards and my life is going to be alot of studying and tennis, doesn't this sound like a model student to you?

That is why I'm going to sleep before twelve tonight.

GOD BLESS MY UNWILLING SOUL FOR SCHOOL.
i can already feel the monday blues! :(

2008-04-27T02:00:00.002+08:00

i got this absurd feeling within me, the week's almost over.

all I could do was sleep, for now sleep for now.

2008-04-25T23:25:00.008+08:00

Haven't got the slightest idea why am I feeling sleepy since early noon. Probably I had too much sleep or it wasn't enough at all. 10 hours, you tell me.

I'm ridiculously bored on a friday night when i should be out having a little fun since school is starting, i'm too bored to even entertain those who IM-ed me, ironic huh! my usual talk-cock buddy is not on the net too, boyfriend is nowhere to be seen or to be heard, none of the girls are online tonight, yf must be dancing her shit out at MOS now, i should have stop being a procrastinator, made up my mind and went with her tonight, although i've never like the word, "clubbing" because it sounds so ah-lian`ish but then again you gt to try once, at least once in your entire life, enough of sidetracking, you bitch better come back and update your virgin clubbing experience!! hahaha.

I quickly went for an hour run after i came home because i feel that i been piling on weight(but i didnt!) and I feel disgusted when I see my reflection in the mirror. My stomach has so much fats and it seemed to be having a life of it's own. Soon, I bet you, my stomach would bounce around and it'll have a name of Siew Mai. Seriously, I think Martians have taken over my body. Each time, I tell myself No YOU SERBIAN, stop snacking. You'll roll like a ball if you eat so much. then I'll start battling with vanity to if I should eat. Just when I thought I'm going to keep my hands away, I'll shock myself with my hands in a bag of chips, my mouth full of crisps sitting on the couch watching television programmes. *bigsigh!*

On a lighter tone, today has been fairly good.

dad just shoot my ass off with my new hair colour.
whatever, i'm going to hit the sack now.

but my sister's sexyblack music is getting on my nerve.
goodnight earthlings.

2008-04-24T01:13:00.014+08:00

Yet another week....

HAPPY HUNT-ING FOR YOUR EYECANDIES, GIRLS!
may hopes in you girls lifeeeee! HAHAH. (:

Let the pictures do the talking, basically it's just visuals from yesterday. The girls perfected the hours at Gloria Jeans Cafe. I'm too lazy to blog properly. but anw it was a superb day out! We chilled till late evening, supposedly to go over Indochine but it was pretty late so we called the day off and headed home. (:

Check out my tube dress, it does wonders. I can wear it off as a tube dress, then again it can put it off well as a boho skirt, and lastly .....

a high waisted one! :)
most importantly, have faith and confidence in yourself, it's the way you carried yourself outside!

Today was collecting pay at SimLim with boyfriend, then we headed over to Bugis Swensen for lunch. Roamed around, and we decided to settle down at Marina for Superhero Movie, okay go catch that flick if you're BORED, definitely a great laugh! After that was dinner and then chilling at Esplanade. (:

& i think i should start to learn to speak properly. I should not be too blunt, and i should talk SOFTLY. I think i will never learn until one day i really get into trouble.

peeeeps, you know something.
I got this urge to join Touch Rugby in the new semester! albeit running the fucking breath out of my rusty body, but i love how is it like, to be able to run around on the field. Okay, i know you might be thinking, " CAN YOU EVEN RUN, OMGZZXZ " but erm, my stamina had improved ever since i joined tennis! and now i can run around my estate for 40mins non-stop, unbelievable right for a fat shiat like me. yadayada, (:

When I came across this picture, I thought of what has been said to me. Love like you've never been hurt. Sing like nobody's listening. Dance like nobody's watching. Cry like you've never done it before. Then I thought, love is a silly thing itself and we all have to be hurt to grow up, don't we? So I would like to change the sentence from Love like you've never been hurt to ~~Never fall in love unless you want to be hurt~~.

Listening to your rantings make me cynic all over again. f ff ffffffffffffff! ! ! !

I don't like waiting for things to happen. Why don't you advance for the things you've taken fancy on, and make your first moves regardless of the person you adore or the object you laid your eyes on. Just because snails crawl as slow, that doesn't mean the whole world would revolve around you only and wait for you. Thats what i feel, friends may think i'm "HIONG or whatever i called myself spontaneous or whatever you called me" but actually i'm not, i know good things come to those who waits but waiting for things to happen is like waiting for raindrops in a drought! makes sense?

i totally dig the song the scientist from Coldplay.

i've ranted more than ENOUGH.

XOXO,
serbian.

2008-04-20T19:29:00.005+08:00

Boyfriend just said I'M FAT!

zomgggggzxzx, broke my fragile heart babyzxz, listen to my heart singing, " keep bleeding, keeep keeeep bleeeding "

i'm going to pop slimming pills down, i'm going to turn fourty-five kg with protruding bones & shrinking cup size!

i'm going to JOG and skip until i die NOWWWWWWW.

booooooooooooooo!

We can try running the naked mile together

2008-04-20T18:38:00.006+08:00

Have you ever felt like you lack a direction in life? I do. Everybody wants to be successful in life. All my life, I see my friends excel in sports/studies and because of that, they are poached by top schools or studying in a class full of scholars. When it comes to academic, I've never really cared about what I wanted because I told myself to live life and don't get stressed out but I've come to a point of realization that, living life isn't just all about having fun. It's about getting somewhere in life and at the end of the day, accomplish something great and be of use.

Where can i start from? To tell you the truth, i made a blunt mistake in taking business, or even my current specialization. Customer Relationship was never what i wanted(till now, i'm not even sure what will be going on?!!?), thats because nyp business sucks, the very limited amount of specialization gets me nowhere.

Great, I'm turning legal next month, i'm done messing my life. It's time to grow up because constant hanging on a piece of rope sucks like a whore.

School starts in another week time, and I don't know how I feel about that. Sure, I'm sick of working and holidays are boring nowadays, but I still do enjoy the times when I don't have grades and projects to worry about. Sleepless nights and tormenting thoughts do me no good, I swear. But then again, what have I got to choose?

School's still on, so there.

overdue visuals! :D

look how wide is shermeen's smile! :)

2008-04-19T19:22:00.004+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHERMEEEN LEEEEEE! :D

you're blissed for the 999999999teenth year!

2008-04-17T21:40:00.005+08:00

Not happy not ecstatic not joyful not anything & everything anymore because this week had been a tedious one. Firstly, i'm down with eardrum infection, and yes maybe you guess it right, i couldn't hear a single SHIAT in the right ear, so people talk LOUDER when you see me, but not to an extent of SCREAMING into my ears, screaming and talking louder are two different case.

Attribute my mood swings to the fact that i haven't been feeling well these past few days, i think i'm getting paranoid, because my ears doesn't seem to make any progress till now, and it's totally like experiencing hearing loss which is rather worrying. & it seems to be getting from bad to worse but then again, i'm guilty for not staying at home to recuperate.

Helping out at club crawl was fun, you get to mix around with different kind of people, making new friends and of course hanging out with my all times favourite tennis buddies. (:

I'm feeling so light now, i think i can float anytime. My head is hurting again because of the ear, i am really tired, and i really want to stay in and have a good rest.

get well soon me!

//edit: the fact is that i feel uneasy, uneasy about my ear.

2008-04-14T23:01:00.006+08:00

[_思卉_] says:
so do u tink i shud kill myself.

(poor bestie, i've never seen her so despaired & pessimistic towards life to the extent of it sounding funny having heard it from her.)

uh huh but guess what, she has got this MARVELOUS, AWESOME, BREATHTAKING, MIRACULOUS, SENSATIONAL, SMASHING bestie who can cheer her up immediately LIKE AT LEAST abit? (you better say it's 100% OKAY!)
....
........
..........

serbian says: "if the game doesnt work out, its life! you cant change it, like my hair, i didnt want it to drop but it did!" =.=

so chin up dearest bestie, life isn't that bad if your hair's still there, long,black & silky babyzxz.
*winks

XOXO you back!

p/s: please don't ask whats wrong with my hair, it drops because of my oily scalp stewwwwwpitttttt. *SCREEEEEEEEEAMMMS* i'm going bald sooon, :S

2008-04-14T01:40:00.009+08:00

It feels funny when you know someone is going through the vicious cycle you did about 9 months back. 3 days to cry, 2 months to get over it. Is that a nature momentum? Sometimes you may think you've found the perfect someone when he cleans like a banshee, pampers you, listens to everything you have to say and being a hurricane in bed. No matter how much you believe that he's the one for you, it's only 98% perfect. The missing 2% is because something is missing and I don't know what it is yet, i got no idea. Maybe if you think of a relationship as a living entity like how happiness never seems to run dry in fairy tales, I guess it's one thing if the missing 2% is like a fingernail.

Hearing how you broke down and cried buckets, i felt helpless. Just few months back, you were still sharing the sweet secrets of you with me, but everything could just turn upside down overnight. absurd, how absurd. But love, i'm not sure if you will be reading this but you know i'm all behind you. If you really love, you learn to let go. There's no point lying to yourself that things would be alright if time has the patience. Make a clean sweep.

I still remembered, before I actually committed myself into a relationship, I was pretty much a cynic to love(don't ask me why i decided to quit my cynicism) and all the time, people come to me for advices on relationships. Most of the time, I would give them advices like I have already gone through lots of breakups or rocky relationships when in actual fact, I have never until the breakup during the early beginning of last year. It's how ironic sometimes, isn't it? I guess it's never easy, because i don't think i'm capable of picking up myself up or allowing my heart to be broken twice on the same fault lines. The time taken to ease the pain is too unbearable and tedious.

I'm not being emo here, but i just don't understand why are you in this predicament.
P/S: Bestfriend, i can cry with you if you want, we will rock the swings near our house if you want, we'll jog round the estate over and over until our bra and panties go WET, we'll climb the hill tgth, we'll lie on the grass, we'll compete who's going to reach the top of the hill first, we'll talk all night on the phone if you want, anything that can help you to feel better. please fight on bestfriend.

i can't make anymore sense in this post, or rather it affects me somehow seeing you behaving in such manner.

Some people just have the heart for a relationship but no body to nuture it properly.

2008-04-13T21:21:00.005+08:00

Oh how the week has passed by a blur. Definitely, Maybe the other day at Cine was marvelous, dinner at Upper Serangoon was nonetheless best. Yesterday's breakfast with mum and zenn, dinner at Xin Wang, omgzxz, plus the fact that mummy just stocked up the tidbits, i think i'm piling on weight, it's scary and I'm not kidding. What a killer combination and I need a fucking trainer or soon, I can't even bend down to tie my shoelaces or I can't even see my toes anymore. It's horrendous. Suddenly, I feel like looking like a lollipop stick. Even God is getting sick of me. rawrrr!

Meeting up with bestie at Novena yesterday, (like finally i know!) We chilled at Spinelli and had our heart to heart talk, i think more like gossssssssiping whoever that comes into our mind! hahaha. it's great to have you and after so long, our friendship still stand, i love fabulous catching up session like this.
(p/s: TAN SZE HUI, remember what i told you alright, better days ahead! & iloveyoumany! (:

After that was Suntec Jay Geeeeeee's sales with boyfriend and some others. After the fulfilling dinner, we went over to Indochine. The company had been fun, mind you, but the music, not so much. The vodka mixed drink left me bloated and down red, just a bit tipsy. & then was at boyfriend's place with en bloc entertaining us for the rest of the night. (:

some visuals!

oh the lovely couple ;)

zy and the "laopooooo"

uh huh.

i hope Arsenal do their best later, i'm in for a little gambling! HAH.

i hate rude people, i hate the way Zenn talked to me or to mama sometimes. My patience is running thin. :/

back to tv loves.
Ciao babies!

2008-04-12T14:05:00.003+08:00

i think when i turn twenty, i want a tattoo on my hipbone.
sounds crazy?

laters!

2008-04-11T22:35:00.005+08:00

The left side of my eye went red suddenly and the pain is back to haunt, i guess it's too much of the lens, and i dozed off with my lens on most of the time. It indicates more trouble in the days to come. My mood turns for the worse whenever my eyes go uncomfortable and it means i might sprout more nonsense or flare up at small issues.
The tooth isn't really happy either, getting minor aches there and then, might be wisdom tooth growing.
The root of all trouble which lead to me being very short-tempered and foul-mouthed today.

These days, the weather seem to be getting really schizo. there could be huge, dark clouds but yet the sun is shining with a ferocity that quite takes the breath away. i really wish it would make its mind so that we don't have to worry.

i think i'm insane, i downloaded all faye wong's classic and it's been on repeated mode. OMGGGGGGGZXZXZXZX. okay whatever, for now, I wanna curl up on my couch and switch channels till i eventually find something pleasing to fall asleep to. All because i want to escape from wasteful thoughts, and somehow it feels just right.

goodnight earthlings!

2008-04-11T03:07:00.004+08:00

I'm so mad, so mad at myself for being such a slow pork all the time! I missed the urbanOG spree AGAIN (LIKE AGAIN! WTFFFFF right?!), this time i wasn't a bit of hesitant of the price, it's just the exceeded caps, okay i'm so bummed now.

i think i should go and wallow in self pity.

2008-04-10T03:10:00.001+08:00

Part of my life is spent traveling back and forth from home, his place and whatever places we go to. I almost always have either my friends with me or the boyfriend - not that I'm complaining, not at all. I haven't had the time to sit down, on my own, and just be content alone.

Today was the perfect day to do so, to do nothing.
Spent the whole day at home, amazingly with mum, with the sister.
Talking to the bestfriend, and people whom i've never talked to for AGES, and some rick who gave me a "HUH-WHO-ARE-YOU" response.

I want to type more, but I honestly don't know what to say. Maybe later.

I need to cultivate a good sleeping habit because my biological clock is fucked up. I don't sleep until 4am and you know what is very inhumane, I have to wake up at 9am tomorrow because I have to face a screaming mum for breakfast. If you're late, you can date the sink and the plates needed to be washed.

I've officially moved on from ROUGESHEER because i need to get real.

twoneuroses has got the same feeling too, but it's going to stay public compare to all my private blogs for the past few years.
i very much wanted to shift to Livejournal, but i know nothing about editing except POSTING. ha!

i am ridculously bored now.

p/s: FAT SOOOON IS COMING HOMEEEE! OMGZXZXZX CAN'T WAIT!
OBASAN IS COMING HOMEEEE TOOOOO! omgzzxz times 10 can't wait!
I'M SEEING THE HOT BOYFRIEND LATER ON. omgzxzx times 20 can't wait! :)