When you actually think that you're getting used to living off your Dad, you look back and begin to think if you've done anything productive the past few days/weeks/months. I was thinking, Oh yes, I did. I helped my Dad to waste money like water and helped with the economic growth. The shopping industry needs somebody like me. I'm not a national heroine, I'm just doing things that I should(HAHAHA, tell me about it). I can't believe I'm so good in idling my day(s) away and in fact, I'll be mastering the art of Idle.

But now, no more idling. In less than 24 hours, i will be sitting in lecture hall, probably snoring my ass off or drooling over the male lecturer.

This holiday had been good, school starts meaning no more hanging out late till 2 3am outside, i will be back to the Cinderella days all over again, more projects, more scratching your head over the tutorial questions, more streeesssszxzx. After finishing typing this sentence, i'm no longer excited about school, in fact i think the excitement within me had gone away one week ago.

I do need a great come back.. for every aspect. From school work to eating/sleeping habits and attitude. Need to be back, better than before, and, getting better. Need to have more positive vibes towards school.. school.. school work.. school. Cultivating proper eating-on-time habits, going to bed at a healthy time, and possessing a good attitude.

I promise to study harder from tomorrow onwards and my life is going to be alot of studying and tennis, doesn't this sound like a model student to you?

That is why I'm going to sleep before twelve tonight.

GOD BLESS MY UNWILLING SOUL FOR SCHOOL.
i can already feel the monday blues! :(

i got this absurd feeling within me, the week's almost over.

all I could do was sleep, for now sleep for now.

Haven't got the slightest idea why am I feeling sleepy since early noon. Probably I had too much sleep or it wasn't enough at all. 10 hours, you tell me.

I'm ridiculously bored on a friday night when i should be out having a little fun since school is starting, i'm too bored to even entertain those who IM-ed me, ironic huh! my usual talk-cock buddy is not on the net too, boyfriend is nowhere to be seen or to be heard, none of the girls are online tonight, yf must be dancing her shit out at MOS now, i should have stop being a procrastinator, made up my mind and went with her tonight, although i've never like the word, "clubbing" because it sounds so ah-lian`ish but then again you gt to try once, at least once in your entire life, enough of sidetracking, you bitch better come back and update your virgin clubbing experience!! hahaha.

I quickly went for an hour run after i came home because i feel that i been piling on weight(but i didnt!) and I feel disgusted when I see my reflection in the mirror. My stomach has so much fats and it seemed to be having a life of it's own. Soon, I bet you, my stomach would bounce around and it'll have a name of Siew Mai. Seriously, I think Martians have taken over my body. Each time, I tell myself No YOU SERBIAN, stop snacking. You'll roll like a ball if you eat so much. then I'll start battling with vanity to if I should eat. Just when I thought I'm going to keep my hands away, I'll shock myself with my hands in a bag of chips, my mouth full of crisps sitting on the couch watching television programmes. *bigsigh!*

On a lighter tone, today has been fairly good.

dad just shoot my ass off with my new hair colour.
whatever, i'm going to hit the sack now.

but my sister's sexyblack music is getting on my nerve.
goodnight earthlings.

Yet another week....

HAPPY HUNT-ING FOR YOUR EYECANDIES, GIRLS!
may hopes in you girls lifeeeee! HAHAH. (:

Let the pictures do the talking, basically it's just visuals from yesterday. The girls perfected the hours at Gloria Jeans Cafe. I'm too lazy to blog properly. but anw it was a superb day out! We chilled till late evening, supposedly to go over Indochine but it was pretty late so we called the day off and headed home. (:

Check out my tube dress, it does wonders. I can wear it off as a tube dress, then again it can put it off well as a boho skirt, and lastly .....

a high waisted one! :)
most importantly, have faith and confidence in yourself, it's the way you carried yourself outside!

Today was collecting pay at SimLim with boyfriend, then we headed over to Bugis Swensen for lunch. Roamed around, and we decided to settle down at Marina for Superhero Movie, okay go catch that flick if you're BORED, definitely a great laugh! After that was dinner and then chilling at Esplanade. (:

& i think i should start to learn to speak properly. I should not be too blunt, and i should talk SOFTLY. I think i will never learn until one day i really get into trouble.

peeeeps, you know something.
I got this urge to join Touch Rugby in the new semester! albeit running the fucking breath out of my rusty body, but i love how is it like, to be able to run around on the field. Okay, i know you might be thinking, " CAN YOU EVEN RUN, OMGZZXZ " but erm, my stamina had improved ever since i joined tennis! and now i can run around my estate for 40mins non-stop, unbelievable right for a fat shiat like me. yadayada, (:

When I came across this picture, I thought of what has been said to me. Love like you've never been hurt. Sing like nobody's listening. Dance like nobody's watching. Cry like you've never done it before. Then I thought, love is a silly thing itself and we all have to be hurt to grow up, don't we? So I would like to change the sentence from Love like you've never been hurt to Never fall in love unless you want to be hurt.

Listening to your rantings make me cynic all over again. f ff ffffffffffffff! ! ! !

I don't like waiting for things to happen. Why don't you advance for the things you've taken fancy on, and make your first moves regardless of the person you adore or the object you laid your eyes on. Just because snails crawl as slow, that doesn't mean the whole world would revolve around you only and wait for you. Thats what i feel, friends may think i'm "HIONG or whatever i called myself spontaneous or whatever you called me" but actually i'm not, i know good things come to those who waits but waiting for things to happen is like waiting for raindrops in a drought! makes sense?

i totally dig the song the scientist from Coldplay.

i've ranted more than ENOUGH.

XOXO,
serbian.

Boyfriend just said I'M FAT!

zomgggggzxzx, broke my fragile heart babyzxz, listen to my heart singing, " keep bleeding, keeep keeeep bleeeding "

i'm going to pop slimming pills down, i'm going to turn fourty-five kg with protruding bones & shrinking cup size!

i'm going to JOG and skip until i die NOWWWWWWW.

booooooooooooooo!

We can try running the naked mile together

Have you ever felt like you lack a direction in life? I do. Everybody wants to be successful in life. All my life, I see my friends excel in sports/studies and because of that, they are poached by top schools or studying in a class full of scholars. When it comes to academic, I've never really cared about what I wanted because I told myself to live life and don't get stressed out but I've come to a point of realization that, living life isn't just all about having fun. It's about getting somewhere in life and at the end of the day, accomplish something great and be of use.

Where can i start from? To tell you the truth, i made a blunt mistake in taking business, or even my current specialization. Customer Relationship was never what i wanted(till now, i'm not even sure what will be going on?!!?), thats because nyp business sucks, the very limited amount of specialization gets me nowhere.

Great, I'm turning legal next month, i'm done messing my life. It's time to grow up because constant hanging on a piece of rope sucks like a whore.

School starts in another week time, and I don't know how I feel about that. Sure, I'm sick of working and holidays are boring nowadays, but I still do enjoy the times when I don't have grades and projects to worry about. Sleepless nights and tormenting thoughts do me no good, I swear. But then again, what have I got to choose?

School's still on, so there.

overdue visuals! :D

look how wide is shermeen's smile! :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHERMEEEN LEEEEEE! :D

you're blissed for the 999999999teenth year!

Not happy not ecstatic not joyful not anything & everything anymore because this week had been a tedious one. Firstly, i'm down with eardrum infection, and yes maybe you guess it right, i couldn't hear a single SHIAT in the right ear, so people talk LOUDER when you see me, but not to an extent of SCREAMING into my ears, screaming and talking louder are two different case.

Attribute my mood swings to the fact that i haven't been feeling well these past few days, i think i'm getting paranoid, because my ears doesn't seem to make any progress till now, and it's totally like experiencing hearing loss which is rather worrying. & it seems to be getting from bad to worse but then again, i'm guilty for not staying at home to recuperate.

Helping out at club crawl was fun, you get to mix around with different kind of people, making new friends and of course hanging out with my all times favourite tennis buddies. (:

I'm feeling so light now, i think i can float anytime. My head is hurting again because of the ear, i am really tired, and i really want to stay in and have a good rest.

get well soon me!

//edit: the fact is that i feel uneasy, uneasy about my ear.

[_思卉_] says:
so do u tink i shud kill myself.

(poor bestie, i've never seen her so despaired & pessimistic towards life to the extent of it sounding funny having heard it from her.)

uh huh but guess what, she has got this MARVELOUS, AWESOME, BREATHTAKING, MIRACULOUS, SENSATIONAL, SMASHING bestie who can cheer her up immediately LIKE AT LEAST abit? (you better say it's 100% OKAY!)
....
........
..........

serbian says: "if the game doesnt work out, its life! you cant change it, like my hair, i didnt want it to drop but it did!" =.=

so chin up dearest bestie, life isn't that bad if your hair's still there, long,black & silky babyzxz.
*winks


XOXO you back!

p/s: please don't ask whats wrong with my hair, it drops because of my oily scalp stewwwwwpitttttt. *SCREEEEEEEEEAMMMS* i'm going bald sooon, :S

It feels funny when you know someone is going through the vicious cycle you did about 9 months back. 3 days to cry, 2 months to get over it. Is that a nature momentum? Sometimes you may think you've found the perfect someone when he cleans like a banshee, pampers you, listens to everything you have to say and being a hurricane in bed. No matter how much you believe that he's the one for you, it's only 98% perfect. The missing 2% is because something is missing and I don't know what it is yet, i got no idea. Maybe if you think of a relationship as a living entity like how happiness never seems to run dry in fairy tales, I guess it's one thing if the missing 2% is like a fingernail.

Hearing how you broke down and cried buckets, i felt helpless. Just few months back, you were still sharing the sweet secrets of you with me, but everything could just turn upside down overnight. absurd, how absurd. But love, i'm not sure if you will be reading this but you know i'm all behind you. If you really love, you learn to let go. There's no point lying to yourself that things would be alright if time has the patience. Make a clean sweep.

I still remembered, before I actually committed myself into a relationship, I was pretty much a cynic to love(don't ask me why i decided to quit my cynicism) and all the time, people come to me for advices on relationships. Most of the time, I would give them advices like I have already gone through lots of breakups or rocky relationships when in actual fact, I have never until the breakup during the early beginning of last year. It's how ironic sometimes, isn't it? I guess it's never easy, because i don't think i'm capable of picking up myself up or allowing my heart to be broken twice on the same fault lines. The time taken to ease the pain is too unbearable and tedious.

I'm not being emo here, but i just don't understand why are you in this predicament.
P/S: Bestfriend, i can cry with you if you want, we will rock the swings near our house if you want, we'll jog round the estate over and over until our bra and panties go WET, we'll climb the hill tgth, we'll lie on the grass, we'll compete who's going to reach the top of the hill first, we'll talk all night on the phone if you want, anything that can help you to feel better. please fight on bestfriend.

i can't make anymore sense in this post, or rather it affects me somehow seeing you behaving in such manner.

Some people just have the heart for a relationship but no body to nuture it properly.

Oh how the week has passed by a blur. Definitely, Maybe the other day at Cine was marvelous, dinner at Upper Serangoon was nonetheless best. Yesterday's breakfast with mum and zenn, dinner at Xin Wang, omgzxz, plus the fact that mummy just stocked up the tidbits, i think i'm piling on weight, it's scary and I'm not kidding. What a killer combination and I need a fucking trainer or soon, I can't even bend down to tie my shoelaces or I can't even see my toes anymore. It's horrendous. Suddenly, I feel like looking like a lollipop stick. Even God is getting sick of me. rawrrr!

Meeting up with bestie at Novena yesterday, (like finally i know!) We chilled at Spinelli and had our heart to heart talk, i think more like gossssssssiping whoever that comes into our mind! hahaha. it's great to have you and after so long, our friendship still stand, i love fabulous catching up session like this.
(p/s: TAN SZE HUI, remember what i told you alright, better days ahead! & iloveyoumany! (:

After that was Suntec Jay Geeeeeee's sales with boyfriend and some others. After the fulfilling dinner, we went over to Indochine. The company had been fun, mind you, but the music, not so much. The vodka mixed drink left me bloated and down red, just a bit tipsy. & then was at boyfriend's place with en bloc entertaining us for the rest of the night. (:

some visuals!

oh the lovely couple ;)

zy and the "laopooooo"

uh huh.

i hope Arsenal do their best later, i'm in for a little gambling! HAH.

i hate rude people, i hate the way Zenn talked to me or to mama sometimes. My patience is running thin. :/

back to tv loves.
Ciao babies!

i think when i turn twenty, i want a tattoo on my hipbone.
sounds crazy?


laters!

The left side of my eye went red suddenly and the pain is back to haunt, i guess it's too much of the lens, and i dozed off with my lens on most of the time. It indicates more trouble in the days to come. My mood turns for the worse whenever my eyes go uncomfortable and it means i might sprout more nonsense or flare up at small issues.
The tooth isn't really happy either, getting minor aches there and then, might be wisdom tooth growing.
The root of all trouble which lead to me being very short-tempered and foul-mouthed today.

These days, the weather seem to be getting really schizo. there could be huge, dark clouds but yet the sun is shining with a ferocity that quite takes the breath away. i really wish it would make its mind so that we don't have to worry.

i think i'm insane, i downloaded all faye wong's classic and it's been on repeated mode. OMGGGGGGGZXZXZXZX. okay whatever, for now, I wanna curl up on my couch and switch channels till i eventually find something pleasing to fall asleep to. All because i want to escape from wasteful thoughts, and somehow it feels just right.

goodnight earthlings!

I'm so mad, so mad at myself for being such a slow pork all the time! I missed the urbanOG spree AGAIN (LIKE AGAIN! WTFFFFF right?!), this time i wasn't a bit of hesitant of the price, it's just the exceeded caps, okay i'm so bummed now.

i think i should go and wallow in self pity.

Part of my life is spent traveling back and forth from home, his place and whatever places we go to. I almost always have either my friends with me or the boyfriend - not that I'm complaining, not at all. I haven't had the time to sit down, on my own, and just be content alone.

Today was the perfect day to do so, to do nothing.
Spent the whole day at home, amazingly with mum, with the sister.
Talking to the bestfriend, and people whom i've never talked to for AGES, and some rick who gave me a "HUH-WHO-ARE-YOU" response.

I want to type more, but I honestly don't know what to say. Maybe later.

I need to cultivate a good sleeping habit because my biological clock is fucked up. I don't sleep until 4am and you know what is very inhumane, I have to wake up at 9am tomorrow because I have to face a screaming mum for breakfast. If you're late, you can date the sink and the plates needed to be washed.

I've officially moved on from ROUGESHEER because i need to get real.

twoneuroses has got the same feeling too, but it's going to stay public compare to all my private blogs for the past few years.
i very much wanted to shift to Livejournal, but i know nothing about editing except POSTING. ha!

i am ridculously bored now.

p/s: FAT SOOOON IS COMING HOMEEEE! OMGZXZXZX CAN'T WAIT!
OBASAN IS COMING HOMEEEE TOOOOO! omgzzxz times 10 can't wait!
I'M SEEING THE HOT BOYFRIEND LATER ON. omgzxzx times 20 can't wait! :)