Toilet paper or certificate?

Since young, I have always think that people who studied in universities and gotten themselves a degree are very smart. Very smart, indeed. So, I've always wanted to get a degree for myself because a degree meant that I could be a lawyer, doctor or land me an occupation which could earn me big bucks. That mentality was when I was in Primary School.

Now, I adopted a different mentality. I'll get a diploma and see where I'll go from there. The strongest field I'll be in would be shopping, unfortunately. You will tell me, the smartest is when you obtain a PHD which is Permanent Head Damage in my case. Take sales and marketing. Do you rather a person who gets a diploma with rich experience in sales and marketing to work for you and has a resume more colorful than an undergraduate with a degree related to sales and marketing but has zilch experience in it?

In the past, people always looked down on people with certificates lower than a degree or to make things worse, one who has no certificate at all. Thankfully, times have changed because people without a degree has proved themselves to be one of those who would excel in the society. Just as we have thought that times have changed for the better and would change for good, you would be wrong because society chooses to seperate those who has a degree and those who don't, be it your choice or not. The society is harsh, if you have not realized and the standard of living is so high. If you are not able to carve out a name or anything for yourselves, you would be gone, being regarded as the pariahs of the society which is to put it simply, useless people.

So what if you have a degree but lack of EQ?! Bosses/superiors with a degrees but have a thrashy attitude, seen that. I just wanted to say that, everyone has their own niches and there is nothing wrong if you just stop there with just a diploma because there's so many people out in the society scoring big without a degree.

don't you agree with me?

The week had been fucking stressful for me, i'm thankful that it's the weekends because it's my long awaited break to mark the end of the madness school's been throwing at me.

Worst case still to run away from french class. I told you, I hate Tuesdays. I went to class late because I couldn't wake up or at least I told myself not to wake up. & now i couldn't catch up with whats happening.

Getting into the top 11 main team's been screwing my ass up, because i know 99% of the chances are, i won't get into the team. The remaining 1% comes from the luck, but saying of which, i had been down on my luck the past few weeks. I got fined by the NLB for not returning their books, i lost my Topshop value card (like fuck laaaaa hor!) and to add on to the frustration, my thighs are growing increasingly side ways.

I feel disgusted when I see my reflection in the mirror. My stomach has so much fats and it seemed to be having a life of it's own. Soon, I bet you, my stomach would bounce around and it'll have a name of Siew Mai.

I had a verbal fight with my mum, but heck!
I can't tolerate,
anymore.
Again and again, like a cycle which never seem to end.
You have no fucking idea, nothing about me, about anything.

omfg, i need to breathe.


i hope you know.

As the weeks slowly grind its way to time when... the mid semester tests are ready to greet us with open arms. I cannot fathom how time flies. It is already the 6th week of school! Wow, it seems like yesterday when I was still on holidays, still whining about waking up early in the morning and dreaded the fact that I'm not ready to meet my classmates, and make new friends. Today, I'm used to waking up early, adore my classmates immensely and made absolutely fabulous new friends in the campus. Time seems to be on a machine ticking and accelerating its time away. Oh, such is life!
My life so far is rather mundane, with projects piling up and I have alot to prove to people. Projects aside, studies is becoming like an impending doom. You have got to study to get results.

Tuesday saw me watching Indiana Jones with the usuals, i think the show's quite silly compared to the last few. For now, I'm anticipating my " NARHIA " (:
Today, i woke up late for finance class again, (die die also must go!) or else i'm going to receive my debarrment letter, fooo! School was pretty frustrating today albeit everyone should be getting into their high holidaying spirits but I think the frustration and the short fuse was caused by the deadline given to us for project tmrw, saw a few of them scratching their brains and banging the tables. After that was tennis and dinner at Thomson.

Okay, here you go the visuals.

i think this is really cool! i would want a SLK/cooper for my wedding too (:

pretty girls pretty boys.

So the belly tired, i is going to sleep and fail my lab test tomorrow.

The past week was tedious. It perpetually left me with swollen eyes and a head full of unnecessary thoughts. If only you learnt how to love this much.

Each time I'm out, I would fall asleep everywhere.

Preparing for J's wedding, studying and including SCREWING up my finance paper, up and down stays in the hospital till late, having not enough sleep practically almost everyday, missed training, meeting the deadline of marketing project, focusing hard during lessons, preparing for upcoming ICAs, all these had consumed me with fatigue. That pretty explains the lack of update.

I pray Zenn will recover soon, it pains me especially when i saw him moaned in pain and actually cried, i swear it must have hurt him a lot, letting off whims in the middle of his sleep scared us. I feel helpless, and all i do is stay by the bed watching him go into sleep. Think faith.

It's only monday, and it's sapping the energy out of me. I would whine from Monday to Friday about how tormenting school is because the workload gets heavier with each semester. Education drives you nuts sometimes and you can go home to tell your parents you learnt nothing in school except learning how to be insane.

I promise to load those overdued photos soon.

you can treat me gummybears, i will feel better

they say, big girls don't cry.

Human beings are complexed creatures
with tones of warpped ideas/plans/strategies.

Its a jungle out there.

don't you agree with me?

School's a waste of time today, we practically laughed through the entire one hour lecture.
thanks to my broken Chinese verbs (i really tried very hard to phrase it nicely okay!).

It's rather worrying when so many things are not done yet so little time.
Yet all I feel now, is just a weird sense of calmness, with a twinge of frustration.

Let's check up on my readings for today :



yes, you might be feeling like how i do, READ ON. (:

It looks like you are going to meet your match today!
Someone pops onto the scene who has as much charm, as much intelligence, and as much wit as you do. At first you might feel like your territory is being taken over, but if you give this person a shot you will stop seeing them as competition and start seeing them as one heck of a cool person.
There is room enough for both of you, so considering teaming up. Y
ou two might have a wonderful future together.

Then again, i thought to myself. I haven't met anyone new today, i didn't accidentally bump into any fellas.
I was either with my classmates or hanging around with my boyfriend most of the time.
I met my boyfriend today for dinner, so he's my match? (oh no!) the agony of tolerating all his nonsense, and his unglamorous picking nose times, his must-have-chicken-in-every-meal attitude etc etc etc and the whole list goes on, but then again he's one heck of a cool boyfriend who means really a lot to me. (:

I am usually a believer for horoscope, to test for some optimal accuracy. I will always hold it till the end of my day and then tally it with what happened for my day. Today doesn't seems to tally. hmm!

i look extremely tiny beside him.
you're only 1.84 inches (inside joke!) NIA, i still look tall la HOR!

I am robbed of my sleep. Nope, not because I have been burying my head into books and studying (me no closet mugger, chill). I have been staying up late to use the computer, been bumming around, and have been doing anything but studying. & i had to literally drag myself out of the bed this morning but yet i was still late for french class.

I'm bored stiff now. my boyfriend is slaying his monsters, and i'm typing shiazxzxt now.

it's probably snoooozzzeeee time!
goodnight earthlings.

i love them all and i hold them close to my heart.

I bet you guys must be pondering why am i on good terms with S when just few months back, he drove me up to the wall and i hate him deep to the core. I used to hate him so much that i forget the reason why i hate him. When you hate somebody, it takes up so much of your energy. Hating is so tedious. & life is too short for that ah huh. even everyone's on seperate ways, but i'm glad we still can catch up with each other's life.
Now who says lovers can't be friends? (:
(i think partly also because of my outgoing nature LAAAA)

When stress = motivation x determination / results
stress is not proportionate to results because when you achieve good results, your stress level drop. and to get results, just divide by stress and it will reduced half. (:
play around with this formula when you're stressed! it definitely helps.

i miss my best friend.
& buddy, if you're reading this, i want to tell you that i appreciate your call the other day.

the thought of attending french class tml sucks.
my timetable's screwed by the way.

Till then..

XOXO,
S.

Sorry By Buckcherry

Oh I had a lot to say was thinking on my time away
I missed you and things weren't the same
Cause everything inside it never comes out right
And when I see you cry it makes me want to die
I'm sorry I'm bad,
I'm sorry I'm blue,
I'm sorry about all things I said to you
And I know I can't take it back
I love how you kiss,
I love all you're sounds,
and baby the way you make my world go round
And I just wanted to say I'm sorry
This time I think I'm to blame it's harder to get through the days
You get older and blame turns to shame
Every single day I think about how we came all this way
The sleepless nights and the tears you cried it's never too late to make it right
Oh yeah sorry

I think this is hilarious. (click on it to have a clearer view of it!)

I need to talk to mum soon, (urgently) so that i can register for my driving by next week.

Bummed around at home for abit, traded tutorials and revisions for a full day's sleep. I think i should stop procrastinating and complete my marketing project soon or probably read up for my quiz or even start my revision for finance because i know i'm such a gonecase for that module. =/ but instead i spent my time WISELY on ensuring myself having enough sleep.

We always have impromptu plans, so dinner was at Raffles City, some Japanese's restaurant, when i mention Japanese's restaurant, i bet first thing that comes into your mind was sushi but NOPE! i don't fancy sushi btw but in fact it was all the Japanese cuisine like the ice cream green tea moshi (oh what do you call that, the white ball?), tempura, omelette tomato rice whatever you called that. Overall, I quite like it (:

and i have no idea why Janet Jackson's Feedback is playing like right now on its own.
I'm gonna feedback, feedback~

hello ah neh`s!

p/s: i don't quite like my group btw.

i like this very much because i took this.
so how do you rate my photography skills?

& because of these, i had a terrbile night.

henna.

threading.

you want some prata? (:

We went on a little excursion to Little India on thursday to get our NE project done. It was pretty fun. Its more of like tourist-visiting kinda thing instead of an educational trip.



It's the most exhausting week ever, probably for me. How about yours? It is apparent that I am still leading a very mundane life. So I'm just gonna rant. Well, today, yours truly experienced a queer battle. A battle within herself. The 2 contenders were Me and I! I was mildly surprised at myself for behaving this way but lately, I've been too busy and too tired which leaves me no time to brood.

My parents and siblings have always been a huge influence of the happiness the house has but right now, the silence in the house is too suffocating.
It just made me realize that when you grow up, you cannot simply say things you want to anymore. Only kids say the darnest things because they are allowed to and they would be let off with much mercy.

Because when you grow up, people expect you to have wisdom and be responsible for the things we say. There are times when you just want to say something but you know the best thing to do is to keep mum and not include any of your comments or suggestions because it would end up offending people even though deep down, you have a whole load of things to say. But you can't because when you said what you have said, no matter how much explaining you attempt to do, the words would have already made a mark.

It's all these little things which make me realize that I'm growing up and that there are certain actions I have to be responsible for. Slowly, I'll be leaving my youth behind me and proceeding to adulthood. Maybe life is all about losing the child in you, learning and knowing how to handle things like an adult with much rationality and responsibility.

Sounds fulfilling, and i realized june is coming soon.

The weekend doesn't seem promisingly good for me. I want to go picnic soon, i want to ride on a bike and let the cool breeze pass by me and embrace the peace at my heart.

i had been listening to Buckcherry's Sorry for the past 6 hours, this is muthucrazy.

i send a silent prayer.

Sway
by Bic Runga

Don’t stray
Don’t ever go away
Should be much too smart for this
You know it gets the better
Of me
Sometimes
When you and I collide
I fall into an ocean of you
Pull me out in time

Don’t let me drown
Let me down
I say it’s all because of you
And here I
Go
Losing my control
I’m practicing your name
So I can say it to your face

It doesn’t seem right
To look you in the eye
And let all the things
You mean to me
Come tumbling out my mouth

Indeed it’s time
Tell you why
I say it’s
Infinitely true

Say you’ll stay
Don’t come and go
Like you do
Sway my way
Yeah I need to know
All about you

And there’s no cure
And no way to be sure
Why everything’s turned
Inside out
Instilling so much doubt

It makes me so tired
I feel so uninspired
My head is battling with my heart
My logic has been torn apart

And now
It all turns sour
Come sweeten
Every afternoon

Say you’ll stay
Don’t come and go
Like you do
Sway my way
Yeah I need to know
All about you

Say you’ll stay
Don’t come and go
Like you do
Sway my way
Yeah I need to know
All about you

It’s all because of you
It’s all because of you

Now it all turns sour
Come sweeten
Every afternoon

It’s time
Tell you why
I say it’s
Infinitely true

Say you’ll stay
Don’t come and go
Like you do
Sway my way
Yeah I need to know
All about you

Say you’ll stay
Don’t come and go
Like you do
Sway my way
Yeah I need to know
All about you

It’s all because of you
It’s all because of you
It’s all because of you

The reason why I'm home before 8pm today is because my nose needs to find inner peace (it's been leaking nonstop which I killed a forest for my tissue paper), an imbal sore throat, a running high fever which i thought it's going to burn my brain cells off soon.

I'm totally pissed due to the immune system failing on me at this time plus varied factors, i want to get to sleep but i couldn't.
I just witnessed Zen being pushed up to the ambulance, he will be fine, and hopefully he doesn't have to stay there. think faith.

i'm hungry, i'm sweating &

i have issues.

it's one of the hardest night to pass through.

i haven't eaten anything since 2pm.
my head is spinning, my stomach is singing weird songs, i've got 9am class tmrw, but still..

what happens in vegas is great! aston kutcher is hot, HOT, H-O-T.

i've been in a sleeping debt. & i really need to manage my time.
I can't freaking wait to graduate. Who said that poly life was wonderful, i beg to differ.
I've been so grumpy about everything recently.

Till then,
Your sleepyhead
S.

and everyone's looking round, thinking i'm going crazy. maybe, maybe..
but i don't care what they say......

i need to stop playing bleeding love for f shit and get back to my french revision!
i need to stop drinking coke light. ):

oh wait, i love tonight's dinner.
there's this joy inside me that can't be explained, seeing everybody that i want to again, things that i thought that won't be changed had a new approach, & i'm glad things turned out well, i'm truely happy tonight.
smiles aplenty okay?

things that i need to do:
1) re-string racket!
2) get all the presents exchange for the correct sizes!
3) a bright, and eye catching HIGH LIGHTER!
4) steal my brother's TIN-TIN pencil box. hehehe!
5) collect my sandals.
6) REVISE. i really have to. =/
7) start on my marketing project. (omggzx!)
8) turn in now!

okay bye!

Saw me browsing topshop online catalog for countless times, mild damage now.
it'll turn severe if i continue.

I just bought a pair of gladiator sandals. (;

I is going to stop spending and save up my money for my wedding.
I is going to remind mum to return my hundreds over bucks later on.
I is going to start on my project soon.
I is going Little India for my project this week.


Need to sleep, need to stop singing Bleeding love by Leona Lewis, back to football.

I had a great weekend, I hope you had yours too. My birthday is over, the government says I'm legal. That entitles me to booze, clubbing, cigarettes and sex. (hahaha!)

I'm completely swamped with fatigue. I had tons of fun celebrating my birthday with different group of people. & the reason why i'm here is because my nose needs to find some inner peace, a gross sore throat, a stiff neck from lousy sleeping position and a body on the brink of malfunctioning instead of spending time with the family on Mother's Day.

I've grown so old, 18 years old but there's no excitement. Do people get really excited to celebrate themselves growing old? In the process of growing up, what I really need the most is lots of money, booze and shopping. People say, you're the God's child when it's your birthday so I believe being a God's child entitles you to positive things. However, I don't believe anything positive has actually befall me on the week of my birthday. If you're wondering why, because i broke the present my boyfriend gave it to me. I'm sad enough, so don't probe on asking WHY HUH, WHY HUH.

Friday was late dins at Paragon, then BJ for supper at Dempsey till late. As usual, we had a hard time finding seats.

i look f fat in the pic, but hell NO.
that's not my tummy i sweaaaaar ):

more visuals soon!

The result of sleeping at 3am, I couldn't wake up at 7am for tennis camp. My phone kept vibrating with phonecalls, and i cabbed down to the training ground as soon as i woke up.
My group were f crazy and we irritated J off with our own created tennis dance and our quote. It was efffffffing fun despite the unbearable weather and the lack of sleep. & thanks for the cake and birthday song, people (:

After tht was roaming around at J8 for mother's day present, then boyfriend's place for very late dinner. I passed out after i reached home, and my head was working like a pendulum.

I had 5 cakes for my birthday this year, and i wished a lot. (HEH!)

I'm ready to go off for my power napping now, because i'm gluing my eyes to the chelsea v bolton match tonight. okay, maybe a little on wigan v man utd too.
i understand that its a 99% chance that man utd will win the title, but anw never mind. Chelsea better kick well tonight!

Happy Mother's Day by the way!

I'm legal, soon.
This is a random birthday post.

Tonight was happening because it was my first 18th early birthday celebration with my 03 classmates at INDOCHINE! 03 oy! hahaha. (:

18 cupcakes, 18 candles, whole of INDOCHINE singing birthday song for me, dedicated song from the band, oh and i broke a glass there, (GOOD GAME HUH!) the laughter, the gossiping comes catching up session, everything. i love you guys so many many tonight! :D

A series of hangover, massive nausea and a churning stomach left me with the hardest night to pass ever now. I puked, thanks god because i feel much better now. (:
to those who drank, please drink plenty of water okay!

18 cupcakes, 18 candles (:

i'm going to stuck with them till end of my poly. the agony, hahaha!
play cream with me somemore!

SCANDALLLLL!
HELLO PRETTY`SSS! :D his name is bodoh machiam barbie wong ah koon.
& he think he's effing HOT, (inbar siol!) :)

i got ugly teeth.

UNDER MY UMBRELLA, ella ella.
my heart goes SHALALALA. :)
scandal no. 2


hello, my dearest friend.

more visuals! :)
THANK YOU GUYS for the present and everything, i hope you guys have fun tooo because i did. (:

tomorrow's holland v! :D

To embrace the fact that I'm getting older, or to be afraid of the responsibilities that are stitched to it?

XOXO,
serbian.

The Square Root of 3
by Dave Feinberg


I’m sure that I will always be
A lonely number like root three

The three is all that’s good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine

For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic

I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality

When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three

As quietly co-waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer

We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands

Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed.

from harold&kumar
sweet!

I think the chemicals in my body are imbalance nowadays and I have been having seriously severe moodswings till the extend of letting the big bitch out of me. The reason behind all these are contributed by Pre-menstral Syndrome. We're always making PMS our scapegoat but isn't it the same excuse girls use when they have bad mood all the time? So I look like a pimpled-obese cow with dark eye rings; short fused temper; ugly hair and fat chunk of thighs. Will you still want to talk to me?

Today, while i was still in bed. Dad came in and disturb from my sleep ;

dad: you no need to go school today? how come still in bed?!
me: oh, thunder too strong, rain too heavy, all lessons canceled.
dad: huh???

I'm not in a very good mood now, &
those who disturbed me for my previous post on CATS, thanks arrhhh. haaa!
I don't know what my fingers are leading me to if I keep on typing but okay, sleep is the best remedy.

It's only tuesday. Life sucks. and i'm already almost finishing up my pocket money for the week, and what's more, my birthday is coming! I'm so broke it's really upsetting me. I don't wanna be the potential file for bankruptcy case and judging at how much i'm spending right now i think i'm headed there and it sucks. I'm seriously going to control my spending, probably get rid of my ibanking access as well as opening another POSB account that i don't plan to get an atm card for. thats right. Look who's serious about saving money now.

I dreaded french class. After last week, i think i've forgotten most stuff. Ken was telling me people from france are very sarcastic, because in their country, the more sarcastic you are, it shows more wisdom you have. I don't quite like my current french tutor because she's too observant for the things that's going on around her.

Ailurophobia. ( fear of cats )
I'm recovering from the trauma just now, and i cried like fuck. all thanks to an unsightly, grotesque, unlovely, frightful, menacing cat.

on a happy note, i've got no class tomorrow! :D

Wishlist ; -
1) i love topshop and zara btw. (:

i have a fetish for tbar sandals, people (:

2)cute hoodies like this will look ultra hip on me (:

3) the delias-so-lookalike jumper from FOX. i'm a medium size btw, a uk10 (:

4) the boho bag from forever 21. (hint: the black one, at wisma outlet, it's on the very top of the shelf!) casual tote bag will do tooo! :D
5) Vagary brown watch. (my mum will get me this, hopefully :/)
6) i love tube dresses. ( so summer/spring like! )
7) A new wallet, ( no Guess please! i love leather kinds.)
8)
Pumps and heels like this, charles and keith would be fine! hahaha. i'm a size 38/39! :)
9) New pair of tennis shoe.
10) Tennis skirt, ( the black one from Adidas! )
11) havaianas. (electric blue/green/red/gold, the one with t-bar crossed or thin strap!)
12) i love sunflowers/yellow daisies btw.
13) Adidas sling bag, able to fit my f shoebag for tennis.
14) the tee shirt from GAP, with the GAP word. HEHEE!
15) ka chings!! :D :D

behold and shake those pockets of yours! I'm never shy with gifts, so spare me the crap about saving the world and saving money alright. Kiss kiss, bye.

I got my french name, Ghislaine. Cool huh? (:

and koon was trying to make fun of my french name.

KOOON im nothing without you says:
je m'appelle Serbian bodoh machiam barbie

THANKS HUH KOON BUDDY.

bodoh machiam barbie is my middle french name.

i'm dropping hints for my birthday tmrw, so in case you're so frowning over what present to get for me, check back here! heh. (:

Coming friday night celebration at Timbre is cancel, because i reckon that most of them will be too beat for the Saturday camp. & i can't be selfish just to think for myself.

no more Timbre celebration, and i can't make it for grandma's celebration(guilty times 100000)

i'm going back to my crib to wallow in self pity. boooo.

Ever since school started, I've been swamped with fatigue and the need for a time machine. My tutors/lecturers this semester are pretty awesome except for the Monday class when mum decided to shut my alarm clock at the wrong timing, disrupting my entire going-school-mood causing me to have a bad start on the first day of school. My Wed class is the best, in fact it's more like a self-declare off day from school for me. Friday's ICT lab lesson was cool because my tutor has got quite a nice ass to boot, just that he talks a little bit too much for his own good.

Yeah, i was at Singapore Flyers on Wednesday. We went there in the evening time, and we were really lucky to have the entire cabin to ourself. The ride was really amazing and definitely unforgettable! I hope it doesn't get overrated too soon though, that'll be a shame.

the view from the top! hands down amazing.

magnificent aye?

If i have enough money by my 19th next year, i'm gonna book one cabin all to myself for a night and hold my own little private party inside with my love ones, about 20 friends the whole night and damn good music.

May 1st was shopping in town with the guys, erm more like their retail therapy.

Yesterday was school, then home for awhile before heading to boyfriend's place with his family to ECP for some food testing. I didn't attend the casting because i was too drained out, so i decided to tell Steff my lesson was extended which clearly implied that i'm giving up the ka chings! however, she said there's another casting which will be held soon, which means i've got one more chance. so why not?

Today, was tennis early in the morning. The weather today was absolutely a killer, after that we had dim sum near amk and then town-ed with fat soon for awhile, (.......), home for some rest after that. I wanted to go Indochine tonight, but then seems like nobody's available for me. So was dinner comes supper comes chilling out at yishun mac with Yaonan twinnie, last train home after that.

Every week is filled with activities, keeps us going non-stop, without much break . Now, i'm feeling super exhausted.
This week;
>My legal 18th!
>Mother's day
>Tennis camp
>Indochine.
>No school on Wed! double joys.

My life, isn't anything fancy these days. I don't fancy school anyway.
I haven't do any readings yet, i haven't touch up a single bit on french.

On top of that, my plans for my 18th birthday are kind of ruined, except for the Indochine on thursday night.
*insert big sigh*
i got this feeling i will be staying in and just stick to my tv on my bird day.
:(

I felt like thrash now and I didn't feel like doing anything except lie on my bed. byebye.